| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Has anyone ever been in the situation where they really like someone but are too shy to approach them or to talk to them? Have you avoided being around the person you like because you were nervous? I ask this question because I wander to myself is it possible to really like someone but to avoid them? Is this common.I would really appreciate some opinion from both guys and girls.
View related questions:
shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2006): Im not sure if its a common occurance, but I've done this do almost every woman that I have ever been attracted to my whole life.
I too am extreemly shy around the opposite sex. Over the years, I've come to realize that in my case its very low selfesteem, and when I'm attracted to someone, my mind begins to form worst case scenareos of the possible outcomes of revealing my feelings. As soon as I find Im attracted to someone I immediatly begin convincing myself that I'm unworthy of their attention, I begin to convince myself that I'm too ugly, and that telling that someone would make them uncomfortable, if I'm in a situation where I have to be near this person for extended periods of time, I begin avoiding them any way I possibly can. I convince myself that this object of my attention would be repulsed by my attention, so I take these measures to avoid making them uncomfortable with my feelings.
I doubt this helps any, and i think my case is of an extreem view, but I have come to realize how my negative image of myself affects my hopes for any sort of relationship.
From what people tell me, Im not even unattractive, but My mind will not allow that thought, its totally convinces that Im ugly and unworthy of friendship, companionship, and love. It is self defeating. I honestly hope your mind doesnt do this to you, I hope that I'm just a rare case, and that everyone else is just simply shy. I know what my problem is, but no ammount of convincing from others, or any sort of positive reinforcment from myself helps. I've convinced myself over the years that this is how I should act.
A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 i had a situation like that with a guy i liked, im so shy so i could never talk to him or make eye contact, i did get flirting from him but nothing ever came from it, so after awhile i talked myself down and though he didnt like me becuase he didnt flirt or talk to me as much as he use to when we had first meet but he probably only stopped because i was so shy. I started to aviod him and after a couple of months i didnt even have a crush on him anymore, so i think it is possible to like someone and aviod them but i doubt that you will like them for much longer if your not around them as much. Most people if they like someone they will always try and be in the presence of that person, trying to get there attention or find out stuff about them so you can talk to them, but i think if you do like someone and you are shy and you do aviod them nothing is going to come from it as im sure the person you have a crush on isnt a mind reader. Maybe some eye contact and a smile would not hurt and will get there attention ,being a shy person myself i have always found just eye contact really good to use on people and let them know im intrested in them.
...............................
|
