A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im just wondering, is there anyone out there who has ever had an open relationship but were in love with your boyfriend at the same time? I've recently discovered a couple that i know, they are in love, together for 3yrs, but have an open relationship - ie they kiss/sleep with other ppl, but there is no emotional involvement and no dating. Just curious for some opinions??does this work? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): This does and can work for some people! It also is terrible for others.1) One couple I know, have been doing this for over 30 years. They have been swingers in their younger days, but now are just a couple with an open relationship. They sleep with other people just for the joys of sex...no emotional commitment to anyone but to eachother.2) Now I know another couple where this did not work out at all. His wife was bi-sexual and had an extensive bevy of females she would entertain. I mean, every single day she would bring another female to their bed and he was able to also enjoy the 'spoils/pleasures'. He was very happy with this arrangement. The only problem was this...every 3 months....she would get to pick a man of her choice to also entertain....not necessarily bring him to their bedroom, but she was able to have sex with a man of her choosing every 3 months. He could not deal with thisand eventually he 'snapped' and became violent.I....was one of the men his wife chose. I was also his friend and at first refused, but she insisted that "HE" tell me it was okay. He did and I did his wife with his knowledge. Two years later, I get a call and he had barricaded himself in his home with a shotgun...all because of her continued 3 month romps. I was scared to death to enter this home, but the numerous police officials who were outside assured me this was the last resort r they would have to take lethal action. I talked to him for over 4 hours before he finally relaessed his son and gave me the weapon. To this day....he regrets not being able to handle the original situation with his wife.She left him after this incident and moved to another state. I have several couples I know who still do this open relationship thing and they seem happy with it.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hi,
Google Polyamory..you will find plenty of people who have relationships with multiple partners concurrently. But Polyamory involves forming a relationship with another person its not just sex. Polyamorists argue that humans through their genetics are not meant to be monogamous. As for just out and out sex outside the relationship, I believe there are millions who do it. These agreements only work if both partners are into it, otherwise jealousies rear their ugly head.
Most people find the concept of sharing your partner with a stranger totally abhorrent, it causes a huge strain on the relationship not to mention the increased risk of picking up an STD. So I don't think you will meet too many more people who are into this same thing. Imagine it, you meet the man of your dreams and before long he is out there spreading his seed amongst total strangers. Not a very nice thought is it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I have known a number of this type of relationships and they ALL have ended up terribly.
I have no doubt that the original intentions are all about being the cool couple who are all about free sex, love and rock and roll, but when the shit hits the fan and someone gets attached all hell breaks loose, and the cool dudes suddenly have to realise that they aren't as clever as they thought and made a mess.
If you play with fire you get burnt. It takes a VERY EMOTIONALL TOGETHER human being to be able to have this type of relationship, successfully. In my experiance there are not that many people on the planet who are that together. Generally it is associated with people who are wanting to be cool and trendy. They are usually dicks!
It all brings up the question of what is love really. It seems it means different things to different people.
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