A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone. I wrote here months ago about my ex BF at the time was dating his ex soon after we broke up , but always kept me around and made me think he wanted to break up with her to be with me again. Everyone thought I should just move on and that he would never leave her... Well he did leave her maybe 11 months ago and we sort of started talking again and sleeping together but he made it aware that he didn't want to jump back into a relationship and told me he never said he wasn't seeing other people. This hurt me really bad because i thought when he broke up with her it would mean we would be together and he would not be intersted in anyone else. Just thinking about this time makes me very upset and sad. This was about 9 months ago. Then suddenly 7, 8 months ago something really changed in him and we have spent almost every day together since. He has always been brutely honest with me , which didnt make the things he did ok, but i did appreciate his honesty. He tells me that he finally realized he loved me and only wanted to be with me and nobody else matters. He has been so caring and attentive and says he wants to spend the rest of life proving to me that he will treat me well and never hurt me again. He really has been great, but the other day i found out during the time he was sleeping with me and saying he didnt want relationship and was seeing other people that he did sleep with someone. Now, i know we werent comitted at this time, and i confronted him and he said it was just a fling and that it didnt mean anything. What really really hurts me so bad is that he did this while he was sleeping wih me and telling me he didnt want relationship..while he was sleeping with someone else too. It makes me feel like i wasnt good enought for him, and i keep wondering if he didnt want me then what clicked in him head suddenly that he did. It makes me feel like he was just whoring around and this thought makes me sick to my stomach. Am i over reacting, do i need to move on from this thought. Or is this past always going to haunt me? remembering how bad i wanted to work things out but he kept keeping me around without committment and sleepig with other? why did he want to sleep with other girls if i was already there for him... and he claims he loved me a month after all this whoring around. People please help i dont know what to do!!!!! I can say i do trust him now, but this past is haunting me. He is 30 years old...
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 he's been honest with you up to now, even though what he told you was not what he wanted to hear (that he was sleeping with others and didnt want to commit to you) . to get past this stage that you are at now, i suppose you need him to be honest with you again and let you know WHY have his feeling changed so that he loves you now and wants you to be the only one. it sounds to me like he wanted to take his time and be sure about his feelings before rushing into committment with you. you need him to tell you the reason for his change of heart though and then you can decide whether to put the past behind you or whether it is something worth continuing to worry about.
xx
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