A
female
age
30-35,
*BM2008
writes:I am in the deepest pain I have ever been in my life, deeper even than when I lost a very close relative. My boyfriend of 8 amazing months broke up with me on Monday because of something I said.For a bit over 3 months, he was gone on his study abroad trip in a neighboring country, and I would call him quite a bit, never imagining a bill of $1060 for my cell phone. Anyway, I don't pay my cell, my mom does, but I found it unfair to have her pay for all of it, so I put down $200 of her money. I asked my boyfriend if he'd give a 5th, and he completely refused. I told him I couldnt do it right now, since I'm not allowed to work (mom's starting to warm up to the idea). I thought a fifth was fair, and that. Anyway, with my desperation and frustration came stupidity. I told my love that I might as well sell myself to pay the bill off. He took it as a joke until I said I already had a client.When he asked me who, I told him my ex's name, as I was talking to him, also online. He got angry that I was talking to him in the first place, and he said "I don't date whores".He told me we were on break, then I asked him a few times via text if it was a break of break-up, since I don't believe in breaks, to me, they are bullshit.He told me we are broken up.By the way, he never called and told me we were done, I pretty much got it out of him.I regret this deeply. Not a minute goes by that I wish I hadn't said anything. I hurt him so much. He said that even though my ex is in the Middle East, he could come back for leave, and how does he know I wont go see him? (I explained I wouldnt, and he'd go visit his family to another city anyway to no avail)I tried to convince him not to do it, that I am so sorry and never intended to do that, that we could work things out. He mentioned he is leaving for military training in December, and what would happen to us?He said he'd see me in August, since college starts again in late August,and since I don't live in the same city, he kept some of my things I need for my dorm. We go to the same school and are in ROTC together.He said "I don't know what's going to happen in August" and also that we are still friends and I can call him in the Summer. Then I told him that I'm not the only one who should call, and his reply was that he supposes he could call as well. I sent him a Facebook message yesterday, saying that I respect his decision, which I hope will make me seem strong after I kept asking him to reconsider. I read that a huge step in someone taking you back is to remain strong during the break-up. I don't intend to contact him for AT LEAST a month. I waited for him for over 3 months for his study abroad, and our relationship had always been enviably good. He also visited me at home in a dangerous city for two weeks. We've been through a lot, and have an amazing chemistry,as well as sex. Not to seem conceited, but I give him something few girls can, and he is extremely attentive and caring for my pleasure. With the info I have added, do you think he may take me back? Should I give up and hope sometime in the future we'll be together?There were several things that prepared me to meet him, and I know it was no accident. Please read all of my question and be as truthful and helpful as you can.Much love! Best wishes to all others suffering heartbreak.
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a break, broke up, facebook, military, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MadHatter214 +, writes (22 May 2009):
 I dated someone for over a year when we broke up I was seriously in the worst pain that I could have ever been in, in my life, I was probbably close to being sucicidal. But I just started hanging out with my friends all the time, and I finally found someone that took my mind off of him, though it was never the same. Then a few months down the road we got back together for a short time. Keep your head up.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (21 May 2009):
Same answer still applies.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, EBM2008 +, writes (21 May 2009):
EBM2008 is verified as being by the original poster of the question By the way, I forgot to add that it would have been "cybersex for money" since my ex is away. I reiterate that I had no real intention of doing that.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 May 2009):
Wow, of all the things NOT to say to your boyfriend "Give me money or I'm off to shag my ex for cash" has to be in the top 3. The fact you rubbed it in by saying you were still in touch with the ex behind his back was not great either.
I think he might realise that it was only a VERY sick joke after a while but the image of his beautiful perfect girl doing perverted things with her ex for money is now in his head and that may change the way he looks at you. Also, he has seen your manipulative side which is never attractive.
I think you have to give him time and leave him to it and when he sees you in August then just be yourself and hopefully he'll realise that the girl he fell for really does exist and you aren't actually as bad as he thought.
Good Luck!! xx
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