A
male
age
36-40,
*rty
writes:i have been happily married for two years now and i keep having dreams about a girl i really liked in high school. i really wanted to date this girl but her mom didnt want us to. is this normal for me to keep dreaming like this? im happy with my wife but in my dreams its like im not married and i want this girl really bad. can someone help me with this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2009): It is normal. What's important is to attend to your marriage however and make it the priority. Take a look at www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.com
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Just to clarify, when I said: Are you truly happy in your marriage? Is there something you refuse to admit to yourself? If the answer is no, then i'd assume these dreams to be harmless.
I meant, if the answer is no, there is nothing you refuse to admit to yourself and if the answer is yes, you are happy in your marriage :) xx
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (16 November 2009):
To dream about "the one that got away" is very, very common and nothing that you should be worried about.
Sometimes, as we get older and settle into marriages and long term relationships, we look back at what could have been and the what ifs - not because we're unhappy about our current situation but rather just because the curiosity of wondering what you may have missed out on sometimes plays out in our mind as a fantasy as well as a reasoning within ourselves to better enable us to accept the loss of not ever getting the chance to be with the person you "missed out on".
The fact that you're happily married would suggest that you know, in your heart, that you will be with this woman for life and that the "dating game" is over. This marks an end to the possibilities of being with someone else.
Your mind has focused on one woman whom you had an association with years before, which was disallowed, which means you'll never really know if that could have turned into something more or not. Focusing on this idea of an alternate reality is safe because the likelihood of ever being with this woman now is slim to none but used as a form of escapism for your what-ifs.
Are you truly happy in your marriage? Is there something you refuse to admit to yourself? If the answer is no, then i'd assume these dreams to be harmless.
Hopefully in time you'll be able to distance yourself from the perfect memory you have of this girl from high school and concentrate on the here and now.
Best of luck xxx
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