A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently, after knowing a cute male coworker for awhile he asked me for a kiss at happy hour. I did not kiss him since he had a girlfriend but they were breaking up. Anyhow later the girlfriend discovered she was pregnant so I really did not want anything to do with him. Plus, I do not sleep around or hookup with guys. I have only been in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, which he knew.Fast forward a year later. He asks me to meet him at a happy hour group and stated that he and the girlfriend broke up five months previously. He proceeded to tell me he loved me and wanted me to be his future girlfriend, he asked me to hang out with him. I ended up spending the night with him twice, but we never had sex just cuddled naked. After that we went to dinner once and kept in touch by email and text messages. No real dating. He said he cannot date me right now because he is afraid that the mother of his baby (8 months)his crazy ex-girlfriend will take the child away. He said his child comes first.I spent the holidays alone (Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, etc). We wished each other happy holidays by email and text, initiated by me. Recently, I asked him to happy hour, he said he was very busy at work. This is the only time he turned down an opportunity to see me. Though since we have not seen each other since Halloween 2008, I assumed he would come. I have not physically seen him since Halloween 2008 (nearly three months ago!), though we keep in touch, we have the same network of friends and he says he wants to meet up soon.What do you make of this situation? does it have a relationship future? Do you think he may have gotten back with the baby's mother? They've had a yo yo relationship in the past.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAdditional info: Thanks for the response, I have heard from him since Halloween, we keep in touch and communicate by telephone, email and text. We cuddled and did not have sex the second time because he refused to wear a condom, he wanted unprotected sex both times and I was not on birth control. He said he wanted me to trust him that he would not take advantage of me and he wanted me to think of him as a true friend first before anything else. Actually the second time he could have tried something more and he chose not to, he wanted to cuddle.
A
male
reader, Leo Gallagher +, writes (26 January 2009):
He said he loves you but you haven't heard from him since Halloween of 2008? This doesn't sound like a promising relationship.
Chances are he is using you for emotional support. The breakup with his baby-mama was very hard for him, and having you there as support prevented him from feeling lonely.
But not he has possibly found someone else or even learned to be independent. He no longer needs you (unfortunately).
I think you should move on. If a guy loves you, he will find a way to be in touch with you no matter what. It doesn't matter how busy he is.
PS: You cuddled naked with him but didn't have sex? I would not recommend this in the future either. It is torture for a guy to be cuddled naked with a girl and not have sex.
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