A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my closest friends is a guy I met a few months ago who I had originally been interested in, but had a hard time reading. He seemed interested, but was sending mixed signals. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to ask him where we stood, and he finally told me he liked me, enjoyed spending time with me, and would like for us to start dating, but that he had a girlfriend and would not jeopardize that. So, we decided to stay friends. Two months later, we are even closer, and our friendship has grown even stronger and more comfortable than it was originally. We spend a lot of time together, he has helped me out of a number of difficult situations, is always there if I need him or just want to hang out and has as of late become my most dependable friend, with an ability to discern how I'm feeling without me even having to tell him. The majority of the time, I am comfortable believing that we are just good friends, because he has a lot of female friends who he is very close to, and I assume his protective tendencies stem from the fact our relationship has evolved into something more platonic. Plus, he asks a lot of questions about my love life and had been advising me, and given some of his "rescue" moments have allowed him to see me at my worst, I usually assume we have a platonic relationship now. Logically, I assume the reason he spends so much time with me is because I ask, and that if any of his other female friends asked, he'd do the same for them. But he seems to care so much about me and my well being and happiness, and has a degree of patience with me that not even my closest female friends seem to have, all of which seems to suggest he might still have feelings for me. But there doesn't seem to be any particular sexual tension or active flirting - we just have a very comfortable, albeit affectionate (sending random emojis, hugs, noogies, and constant texting/communication of caring about the other person) relationship. I guess I'm wondering if all of this more likely adds up to him now seeing me as a little sister he likes spending time with and feels an obligation to look after, or if all of this is just a friendship that would/could eventually turn into a relationship if ever he and his current girlfriend weren't together?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014): You don't seem to care that he has a girlfriend. Friends help each other, and that's it. Respect his relationship. Care about his girlfriend's feelings. He sounds like a very nice guy.
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