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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is long i know so if you're not going to read it please don't answer. I need help.Me and a guy friend since school (we're both 24 now) used to have a causal thing, when we were both single. We'd meet up and sometimes sleep together. I stupidly ended up liking him more than i should, like these things tend to happen. Anyway, that ended and he got a girlfriend then a few months later i got a boyfriend but ended up breaking up with him. He's still with her though. We agreed to stay friends when it ended, Even though i was hurt i didn't feel i had any right to be so i pretended i was fine. A few months later we met up, it was supposed to be just for a drink and a chat but one thing led to another and we slept together. This happened a few more times, even know i knew it was wrong my only excuse was that i liked him.The last time we met I told him he should stay away from me and I removed him from Facebook etc. I never told him how I truly felt until last night. He called me asking to meet up, I think he might have been a little drunk, and I said "no". I told him everything, how hurt I was that he would sleep with me and go back to his girlfriend, how I felt used, everything. He said he was so sorry and that I meant so much to him. I told him to just leave me alone but he kept calling and texting for another 2 hours. He just kept begging to talk to me but I didn't answer the phone. He said "he cares about me so much" and "you mean so much to me as a friend". I told him we can't be friends and sleep together, he said he wanted both.He's deploying in September and he said he doesn't want to leave knowing he hurt me and he didn't realize. I told him to go to bed and text me in the morning. He text me the next day asking how I was and it was a shame he didn't get to see me. He still hasn't accepted my friend request on Facebook. The Facebook thing isn't a big deal but it's still bugging me. The last time we slept together he said it was a mistake and I thought he meant it. Why does he keep changing his mind?How can he care about his girlfriend if he keeps doing this?
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male
reader, benny boy  +, writes (25 July 2011):
He sounds like he wants it all but it doesnt work like that. He has cheated on his girlfriend (that I assume he has told he loves), this means he's a cheat whichever way you look at it i.e. not dependable. You could tell him to decide who he wants to be with and make it clear that it cannot carry on like this as it is unfair on his g/f, but then again, could you trust him? And would you want to be his g/f knowing what he's done behind his current g/f's back?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): again f.w.b sorry bit ture he wasn't getting it off his missis so he comes crawling to you nad he nos your gonna take his crap cos your smitten. trust me he nos it also if he willing to cheat on his gf with u what makes him not do it to you if you rver did get with him like. he has this thing where you young and cute but your not wife materail and you will never be it hurts but just do what your doing to be honest and forget about him cos at the end of the day if he hasn't left his gf now for you he never will. also he just buttering you up case u tell the gf what he was doing behind her back lke hence the reason for no add on facebook
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): He's greedy. Some men won't say no to no-hassle, no-strings sex when its available. You are safe and easy since you won't ever tell his gf and he can come and go as he pleases. He also doesn't have the romantic type feelings or the in love feelings towards you so it's easy for him to just get his rocks off and go on about his life. `
You are an adult having consensual casual sex so no one is using you. If you don't like the arrangement, keep your panties on. He never promised you more and you should never expect more since men don't want women who are booty call as their gfs.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 If he's doing this to his girlfriend, then why would you want to sleep with someone like that? He doesn't care about you, he just wants as much sex as he can gets. You guys will never be more than friends and both of you know that. So don't waste any more time on this guy and find someone who wants the same things you do.
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