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Guilt about masturbation!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

When I was 12, I didn't know anything about sex. Not a single thing about it. After I hit 13, I hit the point where my eyes finally awoke. It was around that time that two guys, two grades higher then me, asked me if I had ever masturbated before. Off course, I said no, and they laughed at me. Having the internet, I searched what masturbating was. Since that day I have done it. Only months ago, I realised how disgusting masturbating really was. At that point I was punching myself for thinking "playing with yourself" was alright. These days, I can't figure out whether to go back to masturbation, the thing that I hate the most, or not do it, and risk looking at girls in public. I know its the hormones talking, but having self-consciousness is better then not having it at all. I know its best to do the "thoughts" in private, but the guilt afterwards is tremendous. Your inner soul asks you, "did you really just do that?"

Anyways, all i'm asking is:

Should you masturbate, even though you know it's wrong, and leave the pervert in private or not masturbate and risk looking at people in public?

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A female reader, Vicci United Kingdom +, writes (7 April 2010):

Vicci agony auntDudee, you need to relax.

first off, masturbating is COMPLETLY normal.everyone does it, and its is nothing to worry about.

As for looking at girls in public, what? you cant look at them because your masturbate? of course you can!

As a 15 year old girl, i know that boys masturbate, and i do myself. Don't let it take youir confidence, and one of the main ways to attract a girl is by making eyecontact!

try it x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

Sweetheart, theres nothing wrong with masturbation, I think you'll find that the vast majority of teenage boys (and girls) do it! As long as it doesn't become an all-comsuming obsession, as in doing it multiple times a day, its fine to whack off once in a while. Chill out. You havent done anything wrong :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

Ok, first of all why do you think that masturbating is wrong? I think that it's totally normal and it's something that most teens around your age do. Everyone feels the way you do at your age, even though some may not masturbate for their own reasons. If you trully feel it's that wrong then don't do it. Why would you do something that you truly hate. In the end, it's ultimately your decision on what you decide to do but I hope this helped.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (7 April 2010):

DoubleM agony auntOkay, I understand your dilemma. But I'm like your granddad, maybe even great-grandaddy, okay? Basically, it's okay to whack-off once in awhile, and following is why.

First of all, it's nothing new. There is plenty of evidence that both men and women have been self-pleasuring since before men and women evolved from whatever. Studies have documented that just about every human occupant ever walking the planet did or do.

Secondly, sexual release is good, and necessary, beginning about your age and throughout the rest of your existence. The release eases both physical and mental (sexual) tension, which exists throughout life. We are sexual beings, just like all living things on earth. You cannot avoid your emerging sexuality and still be anything close to normal.

Thirdly, at your age, what choices do you have to deal with this reality? You can get out and have sexual relations with others, whatever the gender or inclination, or you can resign yourself to the fact that you may occasionally need to relieve your sexual and associated tensions manually. But you're really doing so mentally. Most guys also stimulate visually through pornography, as do many girls and grown women as well.

Which means: You can risk being in a lot of trouble at your age, maybe even knocking-up a girlfriend (which based on my personal experience, can have dire affects on your future), or you can imagine a lot of things and wank willy when necessary. Try to be moderate, and also, soon enough you will also have a young lady friend interested in facilitating the event. Hand and blow jobs seem to be quite popular these days, but know all potential risks.

Mainly, don't get uptight about occasional masturbation. It's primarily a mental exercise, with some manual assist, to achieve needed relief and relaxation whenever it's the better or only available opportunity, and you will likely do so at times all your life. When married or with steady girlfriend, you'll probably be able to cut back somewhat. Welcome to post puberty.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

Well i know what you mean. I feel guilty everytime i do. i started it around your age. Well it's peer pressure, just pray that god delivers you from it. try not to do it. if you slip ask god to forgive you and try not to do it again. ask him to help you not think dirty, try to stay away from things that you know will turn you on. I know it's hard, cause i still get tempted for this day on. so we will have to try together. keep your head up.

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A female reader, veronika Australia +, writes (7 April 2010):

veronika agony auntI'm confused - you hate masturbation, but you feel if you don't do it then you'll perve on girls in public? I'm not quite sure if that's what you're trying to say, but that's the gist I got.

If you don't like masturbation then don't do it. Simple as.

There isn't anything wrong with checking people out, even in public. The vast majority of people - males and females alike - do it. So if you're happy not to masturbate, then don't - but just know that getting aroused and turned on by others even if you don't know them isn't a bad thing.

I think you need to learn that sex with oneself shouldn't be shameful, and being aroused by others isn't shameful either.

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