A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This isn't exactly a relationship question, but so many questions here on DC start out this way.I'm feeling horrible, though, and feel a sense of loss and failure. I would like to have a pet, but recently a disaster happened with my cat, he's gone now and I feel overcome with guilt and feel like I don't deserve to have any more pets. I feel like there's something profoundly wrong with me because I make these stupid mistakes habitually. I had cats before, and loved my pets cats, though I prefer dogs and horses. I recently adopted a stray kitten... I know that I'm going to get flack for adopting a pet I wasn't prepared to adopt, but I didn't PLAN this. Right now, I'm teaching abroad and living with a friend of mine, with no idea what country I'll be in two years from now. It's exciting but my lifestyle isn't really conducive to pets.I knew that one day, when I had the stability in my life, I would eventually have more cats, but I didn't deliberately go out and get a cat. Well, one day a stray kitten literally fell into my hands... our dogs were attacking him, I saved him and when we found out that he didn't seem to have an owner, I decided to adopt him. He was really skittish and ran from everyone but eventually let me pet him.Well, I suspected he might be ill and decided to take him to the animal hospital for a rabies shot and a checkup, but on the way, he escaped from his cardboard box, even though I had sealed it with tape. Who know if he'll ever come back?My friend told me it was my fault for being careless, and I KNOW it is, but I already felt like shit without hearing that. Right now I'm just overcome with hatred for myself for being an irresponsible moron! I can't imagine life without any pets, but I feel like I don't deserve to have another pet. If I had actually gone to pick out a dog or cat, I wouldn't have chosen this particular one but since he came to me, I continued caring for him. Part of me feels horrible that he's gone but I don't know that he was the right pet for me. Still I feel guilty because I keep thinking... what if something happens to him?Oddly enough, we just discovered a mother cat and her litter of kittens in a CLOSET in our house. Eventually we're gonna have to find homes for them,and there is one kitten I adore but I feel guilty asking to adopt him because I feel like I don't deserve another pet.My mom suggested that I'm a dog person, and I love dogs... but I don't want a small dog! They're just not for me. For some reason when it comes to dogs I prefer large breeds (our dog back in the States is a German Shepherd) and I don't have the space for something big. Sometimes I question whether or not animals even LIKE me. This is torturing me... how could I have been so stupid? I don't deserve any more animals but I can't accept this in my mind. I have to go teach class today, which I LOVE, but I don't feel like it today. I want to cry. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2011): Hello,
Thanks for your answers.
The kitten is back now! I am still feeding him but unsure as to whether or not I should permanently adopt him. I wanna find a home for him, though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): I want a pet so badly, but I feel like I'm not meant to have one.
I appreciate your advice but my heart is still breaking.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): You did completley the right thing saving that kitten! Even though he did manage to escape and as you said, you thought he was quite ill, cats are really inependant animals and don't need to rely on humans. The same thing happened to me about a year ago, a stray kitten I was looking after escaped out of my door when I had stupidly left it open, the kitten was ill and I never thought i woud see him again, about a week after though he came back to my home and I took him straight to the vets, where they treated him, I still have him now and hes a healthy, happy animal. Dont get stressed about this kitten, he may not come home again, but there is a chance hes still alive because cats are brilliantly independant! I really hope my advice helps you, keep us posted! X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): I'm the OP.Thanks for your answer.I'm overcome with anger at myself! I don't have any regrets about adopting him, because it was one of those decisions where there wasn't a ''right'' option, just what was best. I searched for a home for him but no one else seemed to want him! What's weird is that five new kittens have arrived at our house. I don't want to commit until I am sure I can handle that responsibility, but I really would like to have the black one.The trouble is, I feel like I don't deserve another pet! Of course, I don't want to take on that commitment unless I'm sure I CAN... no matter how much I love him. But, I just have this feeling that the black one is meant for me.I certainly wouldn't go out to a breeder and buy an animal at this point in time, because it would be unfair to the animal, but in case of the last cat, it was either: I take care of him, or no one.I just don't feel like I deserve a pet because I'm such an idiot! I love pets but feel like I don't deserve one.I really would like to have a cat but I would like to adopt one when I'm ready, but when WILL I be?I'm not sure about a cat at this point... I was wondering what to do when I return to the States for vacation (if I can even take a cat into the US?) and how my German Shepherd would react to the kitten. Or what if I have more dogs in the future? I haven't given up on my ex boyfriend 100% (I doubt I'll wind up with him but who knows)... what if I marry him (he has a very large doberman who likes to play but she is a bit rough for a cat!).I don't know what country I'm gonna live in two years from now.I just miss having pets... but don't deserve them. I don't think I'm going to want another dog if anything (God forbid) should happen to my Shepherd, because I'll feel like no other dog will be good enough... even though I like dogs more than cats.
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (17 May 2011):
 First, let me say how sorry I am to hear what happened to the little kitten. You were doing the right thing to rescue him from being attacked by your dogs.....
I know you feel guilty and that deciding to adopt him when your current lifestyle isn't really conducive to having a pet might not be quite as responsible as you would normally be. Sounds as if your heart overruled your head.
I do hope you can forgive yourself - but your grief and concern over his welfare is apppropriate - and perhaps foresee a time when a pet will "fit" better into your life.
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