A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had an amazing night of passionate sex with a lady at work but just when I thought it would lead to something she continually blows hot and cold on me. Some days she makes it obvious that it was just a one-off and will never happen again but other days she’ll be overly flirtatious and act like she wants me again. What’s her game?I’m 27. Back in September I got promoted and moved to work alongside her department. That’s when I met her. From the moment I laid eyes on her I thought she was sexy. She’s 45 but doesn’t look it. She has an amazing body as well. I fancied her from the off. As we were working on the same floor we got to know each other and it was clear that there was a spark between us. I was so happy when I found out she was single like me. Soon we started flirting heavily and she would always come to me as opposed to my colleagues if she needed help with anything. And of course I would happily oblige. Then one evening things developed dramatically.I offered to take her out for a drink after work one Friday night, as it had been especially stressful that day and she agreed. Deep down though we both knew what it would lead to. After a quick drink in a bar she drove me back to her house in her flash sports car and the second we were in the door we were all over each other. We tore off our clothes and had rough, passionate sex, the best I’d ever had. I ended up staying the whole night and we must’ve done it at least 5 times. It was incredible.However after I left the next morning I didn’t hear from her for the whole weekend and by the following Monday back at work she just acted as if nothing had happened. When I got the chance to speak to her on her own she said whilst it was a great night and she really enjoyed it, it was only ever going to be a one-night stand. A bit of fun. I enjoy a good one-night stand like most guys my age so whilst I was disappointed that it wouldn’t lead to anything more, I appreciated her honesty. Obviously office romances are frowned upon generally so I assumed she worried about her professional status and reputation.But still she flirts with me. Still when she needs help with something she comes to me instead of anyone else. She dresses more provocatively as well when I’m around (Top buttons undone, cleavage on show etc). She even texted me the other week saying she was lonely. Of course being red-blooded male I am I offered to go over and keep her company but she said no, even though she said she couldn’t stop thinking about that amazing night we had together. Last Friday we ended up talking about skiing of all things, and low and behold we both like it so she talked about going away together somewhere in Europe! Is she just teasing me? Playing hard to get? I can’t read her at all. I do really like her, and would love to start a relationship with her, and I get the feeling she does too but that something keeps holding her back. It’s like she’s trying to not give into temptation with me. Advice please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016): Shes older, accomplished, successful and attractive and a 20 something year old guy at work is giving her a lot of attention (?) Of course shes going to use it to feel great about herself and is going to tease the cute young guy because 1) Its fun 2) Great ego booster3) Keeps work interesting w/ some emotional entanglements with cute coworkersShes not at all interested in a relationship because if a woman is interested with a hookup, she would feel slightly insecure and ask him out or possibly act shyer at work. This lady is by no means shy and possibly has had several work hook ups Im female and early 20s and have had older men at work show sexual interest in me, it makes things interesting but Im not interested in hooking up with coworkers or married guy however cute and sexy they are (never say never tho)My advice is just have fun..Dont take her so seriously (its the opposite of what she wants) Enjoy it, maybe back off a bit and let her chase you bit so you can get her bed a few more times again. PLAY a little, show a younger girl at work some attention to get her JEALOUS and she'll be texting you, wanting to ravage you. Dont make it so easy, girls like competition---and somehow when a guy ISNT so available, we want him just a bit more. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): I get the feeling she has a very high sex drive, she looks after herself and seeing as she's good in bed she's a confident person who really enjoys getting attention.She did tell you that it was a one time thing so it's not like she lead you on there but probably got a bit carried away talking about taking you skiing, she may have just enjoyed talking to you about something and her mouth ran away with her. Or maybe she wanted to impress on you that she has the ability to whisk people away on holiday.I don't know if she has a senior position to you or not but if she does and drives a flash car she's probably the type of person that likes coming across as powerful. Being sexually confident and getting attention from much younger men. She sounds like a cougar and deep down cougars just enjoy looking for sexual relationships with younger men.There are different types of people in the world, some don't need relationships to be happy, I think she's content being the way she is. As you say you are a red blooded man who enjoyed the experience you had with her but if you are looking for a relationship you need to look for a different type of girl to go for.Some women are successful and do well for themselves but still look for a relationship and to settle down. But some women, or men, look for different things in life. Just chalk it up to a good and exciting one off experience.It's not fun to feel used, but I think from what you've said you did have a good time and she was honest with you, she didn't put pressure on you. She sweet talked you but you were probably sweet talking her too when you took her out, you also asked her out to begin with. So yeah you did initiate what happened. I'm sure you're used to being flirted with but you put yourself out there and made the first move to take it to the next level and have a drink. It's not nice when you are used and the other person leads you on, tells you they want to see you all the time but then ends up not following through.Like another person said be careful of it landing you in trouble. Although she is honest about her feelings you never know what could happen. If you value the job you've been promoted too have a good think about whether going out with her is a good idea if the situation arises again.At the end of the day none of us know what she's really like or what she wants in life but from all you've said the word cougar immediately springs to mind. This probably gave you a bit of an ego boost too, so maybe try not to analyse things and think 'wow she found me attractive and I'm capable of bagging a stunner' :)If nothing comes of this I'm sure you will now have more confidence with attracting people knowing that you were also good in bed or you wouldn't have done it five times if she didn't like it. The first thing you mention and the overall thing you talk about is how attractive she is and how good she is in bed, so honestly do you want a relationship with her or are you interested in having a FWB.If you are fantasising about a relationship with a woman with a hot bod and who's great in bed, some less flashy women can be dark horses in the bedroom! There are people out there with good bodies and great in bed but without all of the mess seeing a colleague brings. I think every new partner I've had I end up thinking they are the best sex I've had but that's because as you get older you have way more experience to build a great sexual relationship.Seriously I'm not a pervert, though my answer suggests differently! But that's what having a fantastic experience in bed does to people, they get carried away with wanting to feel that again. Honestly at your age you will find another woman who you feel that attracted to.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 February 2016):
 Based on this, of course she's just teasing you. She met you, had the ONS and has decided that was that, thank you very much, now please do this work thing for me, and that work thing, and it will continue as you seem to be thinking romantically about her as a potential partner.
To test this, just ask her out for a date. Assuming your workplace is okay with this, of course. You seem to be waiting for her to make the next move.
Of course, she did tell you that it was a one night thing so be prepared for her to decline the date invitation.
Now, it is possible that you've run into the player of the office, the male or female who tries to bed the latest addition to the office. And this is the tricky bit. Often, the question you've written could have been written by a woman. Generally speaking, if someone is going to lose their job over a workplace fling gone wrong, it's the one with less seniority.
You're the younger person in this situation, you can't read her and may not fully appreciate the office dynamics. This happens to women and men all the time.
Do you like your job? Feel that it's a career you want to maintain and grow? Hope to progress and be promoted in the company?
If yes, then stop worrying about seeing her again and instead figure out the workplace culture and what happens to junior types who pursue senior types. There will be a trail. Women see it happen all the time, when they are sexually harassed by the older senior types. You just happen to be a male subordinate and may not have sussed that out just yet.
It is quite possible she's not technically single but enjoys a bit on the side.
Take two long steps back, look around you when the blood is in your brain and assess.
Sorry to say you sound like you've fallen for someone who is happy to use people.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 February 2016):
 If am being honest with you, it doesn't sound to me like she wants a relationship with you as well. She wanted a bit of fun and I think the flirting is just something she does. I think you might be reading to much in to it. She was probably flattered that you looked at her like that when she is 18 years older than you, the flirting probably makes her feel good about herself when she is feeling a bit lonely but that is all. I don't think the skiing trip will happen its just idle chat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2016): It was a one time thing. She mentioned it again bc it means you give her ATTENTION and she feels powerful bc you WANT her but she says no so you can't HAVE her... She likes to remind you of that bc it makes her feel powerful. The ski trip is just a tease. She flirts and acts sexy bc she likes the attention. She likes that you can do nothing about it. Thats what turns her on.
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