A
female
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anonymous
writes:I know this may sound stupid, but its how I feel. I feel like I dont deserve my bf. He is soooo great to me. He is unbelieveably amazing. Ive never had a bf like him before. All my ex bf abused me physically, emotionally and sexually. After a while, I begun to feel like it was normal. And I felt like thats what I deserved. Part of me still feels that way. My new bf is so amazing though! He is nothing like that. My gut tells me is really genuine and I think its right, as with my ex I always knew something was right, but just wasnt sure what it was.My bf respects me so much, and I cant explain how good this makes me feel. Im starting to cry right now just thinking about it. For me to have this, its like the most amazing feeling in the world because for so long I felt so degraded and disrespected by my ex bf. My problem is that I feel like im not worthy of my bf, I feel like he deserves better than someone then me. I feel like hes too good to me. Im afraid im not good enough for him and that I will ruin the relationship. I keep thinking of all the things my ex said and all the things he critized about me and I keep fearing that my new bf will get sick of me and feel that way sometime too.Please help!
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male
reader, Wazzywazz +, writes (26 January 2011):
Heyya, This guy obviously loves you and wants to stick by you. Just be the best person you can be for him and he will continue to love you forever. I know these things cos I am having the same issue with my fiance, she feels undeserving but I love her like theres no tomorrow. If she leaves me because of these feelings, it wont only be her that misses out, I too will miss out on the love she has for me and I just want her to stick by me as she always does, I dont ever want her to leave me. She is awesome for me as much as she doesnt feel that way, I try really hard to help her see that she is awesome.
Stick with your man that loves you.
A
female
reader, Doodle4  +, writes (23 June 2010):
I know this isn't the answer you want to hear, but I do think that therapy would do you some good. I am not at all suggesting that there is anything horribly wrong with you. Your perception of life, and relationships is simply a little skewed, and needs to be set on track again. It is my personal belief that everyone would benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. That being said, mind-mending ain't cheap. But truly, in the long run, having someone to talk you through an emotionally rough patch in your life is worth anything. You only get one life. Live it as happily as you can.
Loves!
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (16 June 2009):
Your boyfriend chooses to be with you, NOT someone else. Forget the past and enjoy what you have with him! Just remember, he may be the happiness you were hoping to have but he is still human. If you start romanticizing him or idealizing him, this will lead down a path you'll regret later on. All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Don't think this way. You're feeling this way because you previous relationships were abusive. He IS the right guy! You do deserve him. If both of you are in good terms and he is nice to you and vice versa, both of you are meant to be! Stop thinking that you don't deserve him cos' I bet that he really loves you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): well I had a similar experience with a now ex GF. I always treated her so well. I did stuff for her none of her losers previous ex BF's did for her. I cooked romantic dinners for her at my place, wine flowers, always opened the door for her things that a gentleman should do for any woman, and even more for their lady love. Well one time she called me and she said I was "too good" for her. the first thing that crossed my mind she cheated on me and felt really guilty, she said she didnt do anything but that she felt I did a lot more than her ex BF's combined. it really left me confused why she was doing this? I guess it showed her lack of confidence and low self-esteem, i guess that's the problem you're having. you got used to being treated a certain way, and now someone treats you different you feel overwhelmed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): We're riding in the same boat girlfriend. I've had some pretty nasty people in my life and i felt it was normal and so i never stood up for myself.. and when i met who is my husband now, he stood up for me, without even knowing me he stood up for me when a group of guys were grabbing at me.. and then i got to know him and he was "too good to be true." I've spent our entire relationship doubting that it's real, that he is who he says he is, that it can't be true.. so i've looked for things about him that will hurt me. But there are none. Most guys, would've been driven right away. They would've gotten tired of the doubt, low self esteem, and feelings of unworthiness, but he asked me to marry him instead. You have something amazing, so don't spoil it. Don't waste your time thinking that you're not worthy because all humans are indeed created equally. My hubby taught me to forget the past. And that's what you have to do. you have to put it behind you and realize that nothing that has happened to you. nothing that anyone has said to you or done to you, can make change you can be right now. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." E.R.CHeesy i know, but it's so true. Those people just don't matter and the only reason they've affected what kind of person you are now, is because you let them.Tons of women would kill to be in your shoes right now, so don't take it for granted and don't ruin it by smothering him. And think of this scenario: what if you had a best friend who you really liked and you talked about everything together, but she acted toward you like you act toward your bf? Telling you everyday that you're too good for her and she is nothing and she doesn't deserve your friendship.. at frist it would be endearing, but after a while, you were get straight up annoyed, would you not? Some people like to be treated like the queen of the universe, but you don't strike me as that type. So just enjoy. Treat him well and he will treat you well. Learn to be a stronger person for him at least. And one more thing: If he does ever end up doing something to hurt you, don't excuse it just becuase you've had worse. Have the mind to know what should nad should not be done to you and stand up for yourself.GOODLUCK!~SY.
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A
female
reader, mzefron +, writes (16 June 2009):
Well, first of all, i think that you should try and forget about the ex. We all hate our ex bf's and i think you should just try with your current bf. There must be a reason why you feel uncertainty. Just appreciate what your bf's doing, and be greatful for having such a generous bf and that he cares and respects you.
Hope that helps.
Love. Sara!
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