A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So here is my Story, I am in school for Police Foundation and I would one day like to become a cop. I met this girl in my college that seems to also be going for the same thing i am in seeming we are in the same classes. So we start to talk and it also leads to us Dating.She is fit and keeps in shape, She a good gamer and i love to game and cuddle with my girl, She is a good cook and Shows she cares mostly and the sex is in fact really good to the point I feel like I am with a porn star.The problem is, She is into drugs and she has done coke and like to get high off weed when she is stressed. she lost her mother at a young age and now has some real problems. She feels by me looking at another girl it is almost like cheating and I cant be trusted. I have done nothing to give her a reason i cheat nor has she been cheated in the past. she just say's that what guys do. She can be fine one min the next she flips her lid, we argue more then we get alone but when we do get alone its the best feeling ever. She is now semi-ignoring me and talking about how she is a bad person and no matter what it wont change.I don't know if it is worth keeping this girl but I hate to let her go...Along side that be for i left for college I broke up with another girl that treated me really well, like i was gold, She has a kid that is 5 years old and is a bit more Chubby and don't seem to care to work out no matter how much i use to try. She don't want to go to college and has no drive to what it seems be anything. She if comfy where she is and if that's what makes her happy then that is good for her right? but I don't want to be with her because she don't want to push for more and with be being fit and healthy I to be honest don't want to date a bigger girl...I know this girl is good but i think She'd be better with out me...
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female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (20 May 2013):
First of all I think you know the right thing to do. Get rid of her. Second how can you be involved with this gal when she could possible ruin your chance of getting onto a police service. Police services in Canada have no interest in someone who is involved with drugs. You are working hard towards a goal. Is she worth you losing your chance to get the career you are working so hard for?
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (20 May 2013):
First of all I think you know the right thing to do. Get rid of her. Second how can you be involved with this gal when she could possible ruin your chance of getting onto a police service. Police services in Canada have no interest in someone who is involved with drugs. You are working hard towards a goal. Is she worth you losing your chance to get the career you are working so hard for?
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (19 May 2013):
I understand where your coming from and its not easy to handle .As there seems to be problems with your ex-g/f and your girlfriend of the now.I wonder would you consider giving the dating scene a miss for awhile giving yourself space and time to work even harder in school for a real worthwhile job as a cop.Hope you choose the right decision for you and your future .Best Luck Nora B.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2013): You have to cool it with the girl from your school. She uses drugs and she may ruin your career, if you are ever stopped and she is carrying them on her person. Word could get out at school about her drug use, and that could hurt you both.
She gets paranoid and has mood swings because of her drug use. That explains her silly attitude about you looking at other girls, and the arguing. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this girl has to go.
Now about the other girl with the 5 year-old. She let herself go and she doesn't aspire to anything, because she has a low self-esteem. She may be a nice person, but she wouldn't make a good girlfriend. She has nothing to keep her busy or focused; so all her attention would be placed on you. She would be clingy and very dependent. You'll feel smothered and want out. That would be devastating to her a second time around. You left her the first time for a reason. Stick to it.
Just continue to date different women until you find someone compatible. Stop just settling and putting up with behavior that makes you uncomfortable and confused.
Too many arguments is a sign a relationship isn't working. No one wants to make the first move to break up. So it goes on and on, until you're forced into a nasty situation that forces you apart. It's better to just let her go and move on.
In this situation, YOU would be better off without either of them.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (19 May 2013):
 she will always love the drugs more then you
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (19 May 2013):
 You are young and you don't need to get tied down yet. If it's important for you to be with someone who has ambition and takes care of herself and some pride in her appearance, then you were right to leave your ex. Taking on someone else's child at such a young age is also a huge responsibility. Don't feel bad about that. As long as you were fair to her and honest with her then that was all you could do.
As for your current girl, the fact that she is looking to go into law enforcement yet takes illegal drugs is not a good sign. If she becomes a police officer but still takes drugs, she will be massive hypocrite. She is jealous and flips out and accuses you of things you haven't done, then ignores you and plays childish games. It could be the drugs, it could just be how she is.
You sound like a decent guy. This girl has a lot of baggage and you say you think she would be better off without you. Well maybe it's YOU who would be better off without HER. You have drive and ambition and interests and I'm sure that you could find someone else.
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