A
female
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*onlyliveonce
writes:my dad has recently started looking into our family tree, he's has a proffesional doing it all for him. however he's decided to take it into my mums side of the family too and i asked my grandma for my grandads name for it, (my mum hasnt seen her dad since she was 3) and my grandma became quite hysterical. aparently my mums dad got sent down for 12month for rape while she was with him and she's never told my mum or her brother, and she's worried it might come up in this family tree thing.im not wooried about i do think we could keep it away from my mum but do you think she should know about this or should we just keep it a secret seen as she's hasnt known for all these years and we have no idea where her dad is anyway? help!! dont know wether to tell her or not. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Like it or not, the truth is a power that always wants to be made known.
It will get back to her one way or another so do you want it to play out like that or do you want her to hear it from someone she loves and trusts?
Talk to Dad and let him decide; it is his responsibility to look after his wife.
It's the past and in no way reflects on her character.
Best of wishes.
A
male
reader, Country Bumpkin +, writes (21 August 2006):
 If you look into your family history you should be prepared for all those skeletons coming out of the closet. Geneology is about finding out the truth but the truth cannot be rosy all the time. You don't need to tell anyone, your grandma is already upset/ashamed of it, you don't have to make it worse for her.
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