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male
,
anonymous
writes: Hey, I am having a sexual problem with a girl I'm hooking up with. I like this girl a lot, and I get hard when I'm hooking up with her and stuff. The only thing is, when it comes to getting head or a handjob, I get extremely nervous and it doesn't work out. I mean like I still get hard, but i don't enjoy what she's doing to me because I'm so nervous. This is starting to become a turn off to her, and I really want to give her sex, but I am afraid it won't work out. Is this normal? I really need help here, it's starting to worry me. And no, I'm not gay and I don't have feelings for guys, if you were wondering that lol. I think I might just be worried that I'm not meeting her expectations when it comes to sexual activity.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): Perhaps doing sensate therapy (no, you don't have to visit a therapist to learn how to do this) would help alleviate some of the nervousness you feel. As a matter of fact, that is one of the primary uses of sensate. Do a search for sensate therapy and you'll find all sorts of instruction for its use to overcome your nervousness. Its easy to learn and really fun to experience. Additionally, it can take your relationship to a higher level not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well.Best wishes for happier touching. :-)***
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): okay, it's okay to be nervous. but if this girl is getting turned off (ie, mad, irritated) then well, she may not be the one. instead she should ease your fear. you on the other hand don't have to worry, many people are nervous when it comes to sex, its NORMAL. you may be scared you're not living to her expectations, but don't worry, jsut relax and try to feel--think, just don't say anything. just og with the flow and like my guy friend tells me--theres NO such thing as bad sex.
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