A
male
age
41-50,
*ichaelRobertson2013
writes:Dear Cupid, Aunties and Uncles!Please help?!I imagine this will be quite a lengthy question so please be patient with me. I am looking for some serious, honest advise. This will sound like something out of a movie but what I'm about to tell everybody is the honest truth because I need some solid advise here! No time wasters please?About a year ago I met what I thought was an amazing woman. She is very beautiful and has been very succesful in life. We started dating. She told me she had seperated from her husband. Which turned out that he is in the forces. He's actually in the 'elite' group. I'll let everybody figure that out for themselves. But he is very good at his job. The UK equivalent of the Navy Seals.Anyway, only a few weeks into the relationship things weren't adding up. Her stories weren't adding up. What I discovered was it seems to be some sort of 'arrangement' her and her husband have. When he's away he can do what he wants and she can do what she wants. When he comes home they play happy families. They have 2 children, they live the lifestyle of the rich and famous. It seems somewhere along the line though I rumbled them and at the same time she 'thought' she fell in love with me.I broke it off with her after a few months because I didn't want to be the 'bit on the side'. When I broke it off with her she 'pursued' me for a couple of months and I gave in. But again I broke it off at the end of last year. Since then she and her husband have made my life a living hell. Now this is where it will sound like it's out of a movie. I have had my mobile number changed 4 times. Everytime they have got it. I get nuisance calls all the time. Text threats. They come to my house. They follow me. I've told the police and I've even had a solicitor send a letter to them to stay away, but they are very, very smart people. It's always my word agaisnt theirs. I'm actually off of my work at the moment because of the stress it is causing me. I'm at the point where I'm scared to go out and scared to stay in because they always seem to know where I am.The police don't seem to be interested because it's like forces are sticking together with forces. Her husband is a decorated war veteran. I feel like disappearing in the night and leaving everything behind and starting again somewhere else.What should I do? I've even thought about writing them a letter begging them to stop? I really don't know what I should do anymore? Please post this question Dear Cupid? I need help here! Thank you!
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fell in love, married woman, navy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (13 February 2013):
Oh my god dear OP,
I feel so sorry for you.
If I were you, I would not write that letter, cause these people are clearly insane and they won't respond to reason anymore. If they were capable to think normally, they would leave you in peace and sort out their weird relationship.
I just found a short article on the net, maybe it helps:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/identify-deal-stalker-forensic-psychiatrist-michael-welner/story?id=9801963
The bottom line is to either try harder to get them to court or to move before you're really in danger. I think svc has some good advice here as well.
All the best to you, keep us updated.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 you get threatening text messages? have you reported them to the carrier?
they come to your house... do you have a sign up that says "no tresspassing?" if not... GET ONE... a BIG ONE, one that is easily seen that says VIOLATORS will be prosecuted the fullest extent of the law...
if they set foot on your property call the police.
if the police won't do anything I would tell the solicitor to tell these folks that you will go to the media (the news and the papers) AND HIS COMMANDING OFFICER and report it.
take pictures
keep records of their contacting you a notebook with notes of dates and times and actions.
DO NOT answer any number on your phone you don't recognize.
you are letting these folks bully you... PUSH BACK
and make sure that everyone knows they are doing this and that they know you are telling everyone so if anything happens to you they will be the first suspects.
as for the police not caring because he's a war veteran... crock of poo... google Christoper Dorner and find out just how much the cops wanted to take down this war veteran and fellow former police officer... happened YESTERDAY in california... had he not blown himself up I am sure they would have killed him... he killed 4 people.. the daughter of a cop, a cop and two others... they didn't care that he was a decorated war veteran.
do not use that as an excuse to let them scare you and bully you. maybe my problem is I'm fearless and I don't care if I die... because if I die at the hands of someone else... I'm dead and don't care but I'll have left enough of a trail that folks will know they did it and they will have to be punished.
do not write them a letter begging them anything.
do not ASK them anything... the time for NICE is over.
document document document.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): If she has ever had access to your computer and may have installed keylogger software, you need to use a computer that she has never had access to. Don't think she isn't crazy enough to invade your privacy in this way. She and her husband have already proven that they are nuttier than a bag of cashews and get a kick out of tormenting you.First (you MUST do this FIRST, otherwise, someone spying on your email account can receive emails telling them what you are doing) go into all of your email accounts and check the settings. You want to make sure your emails are not being forwarded to a 3rd party account that isn't yours. If they are, deactivate the account. Next, IMMEDIATELY change your passwords and password reset questions for your email accounts.Next, change all of the passwords and password reset questions for Facebook, and all social networking accounts. Change your profile to 'friends only' and remove people you do not actually know in real life. Do not change your password reset questions to anything obvious. If they know your mother's maiden name, first pet, first girlfriend, favourite colour, street you grew up on etc they can still access your account.If your cellphone has apps, make sure one isn't spying on you.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (13 February 2013):
 So they get a thrill making your life miserable for what. I'm sure they could be doing more important things than wasting time and energy and money on a side piece. You should find out from them whats the deal, what is it they do or don't want so they will leave you alone. Plus why wouldn't she mention she was married before if its so arranged and pretend. If you slept with her while her husband was away and you didn't know she was in fact married it doesn't make since are they tracking down his away from home lovers, also just cause they can. Something is strange definitely out of the ordinary cause the husband or someone appears very bothered by you entering into the world.
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