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female
,
anonymous
writes: He's been my best friend for more than two years now, and I've been in love with him from the day we met. We recently had a brief fling that started as a night of drinking too much. I knew it was a bad idea because I knew he wasn't really interested in me, and just on the rebound from another girl. Now I'm obsessed, depressed and feeling lost. What do I do? I can't stop being friends with him; he's really important to me as a friend. But I feel like I can't stop loving him. Any advice?
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Perhaps just throw caution to the wind and profess your undying love for him? Sometimes this happens to long-time friends and great relationships come out of it.
This may not be the sagest of advice, but sometimes things work out. Good luck.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 This was a silly thing to do, as I'm sure you know but it was also unfair of him to do this, if he has any idea of how you feel, which he probably does. He's given you false hope of something that will probably never happen and that wasn't fair.
However, drink often leads us to do stupid things and we just have to live with them. If you don't want to go out with this guy properly then you have to move on. If seeing him as a friend is too hard, stay away from him for a while but keep in touch to make sure he doesn't think you're ignoring him.
Meet new people and have some fun, get him off your mind for a while. It has been my experience that these obsessions with people do go away after a while and then you wonder what you ever saw in them. I think you definitely need some time apart from him. Maybe talk to him and tell him the truth: you're having feelings for him that you don't want to and you think it's best if you see a bit less of each other for a month or two.
If he's a good mate he'll understand and give you your space. In that time, you need to concentrate on getting you back on track. Have some fun and relax, and that doesn't necessarily mean other guys have to be involved, just go out with your mates or something.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (23 August 2006):
 Ouch!
You sound like you already know it isn't going to work out. Is that really the case? You say he wasn't interested in you - and you may be right, but I just wanted to check it wasn't just his embarassment at having a fling with a close friend??
But assuming you're right, it does sound to me a little like you're going to have to dust yourself down, retreat and take some 'me-time' to 'get over it'. It's a tough situation, but you can deal with it one day at a time. Try to spend some time with some other friends. Try and find someone who you can tell about it who won't judge you, so that you can 'download' how you're feeling and work through it - does that sound possible??
Be patient, things will improve!
Take care
Anon2907
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