A
female
age
30-35,
*oveMeAlways1390
writes:I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half and I love him with all my heart. In the summer we were supposed to be going away on holiday together and he split up with me a week before we were due to fly, I was totally heartbroken and he just told me he was confused about the way he felt and that it was unfair of him to be with me if I loved and cared for him more than he did for me. I knew at the time he wasn't totally sure (as he didn't have totally definite reason as to why he was doing it) and it was so out of the blue, I never expected it in the slightest. We're now back together after a very emotional and heartfelt meeting where he basically told me that he had the biggest mistake of his life and that he would spend the rest of our lives together proving how much he wants me. I am so happy that we're back together but when we split up I started suffering with depression and now I find that it's getting worse. I want to be with him and I want everything to work for us more than ever but I am so hurt by what he had done to me I feel like I can't fully relax or trust him as I am so scared he will do it to me all over again. The first few weeks after we had got back together he treated me like I was a princess and literally worshipped the ground I walked on but now it already feels like he can't really be bothered. I told him when we got back together that he should be grateful I got back with him after all the pain he caused me and I definitely did not give him an easy ride for a while but now I feel like he doesn't appreciate me and all the pain he has put me through. I'm waiting to talk to someone about my depression, he has been very understanding about it but I feel like I can't get better or that our relationship can go back to being 'perfect' until I've had some help. I'm so scared of losing him, I've been heartbroken once before and I can't let it happen all over again. Is it reasonable to be feeling this way? Can people understand why I'm so down? One thing that is really affecting me is my insecurities and I just don't feel as though I am good enough for him. Please give me some nice responses as I am so down, I really couldn't handle anything too harsh!
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 My boyfriend broke up with me for something stupid. He talked to a friend about Asian families and then assumed that my family was racist. Then I had to tell him it's not true, it's just that the whole culture is racist. My parents being concerned about racial issues doesn't make them racists. The breakup shouldn't have happened but I felt an actual breakup and we dealt with it as if there were issues to work on. At least your boyfriend admitted it was a mistake. After two months I was still feeling the blues, especially one week after my period. I was having doubts and I needed a lot of reassurance. Although I was crying I said to him I was worried my emotions would push him away and that I just needed a hug. He gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay. He just wanted me to be happy.
Treating you like a princess is a good sign. However, he has to let down his guard and tells you he loves you, tell you he would handle it better next time by talking things through with you. He has to admit that entering a relationship is a scary thing for him.
I can say that after two months I felt much better now. I still have doubts occasionally but I appreciate our differences and just learn to laugh at each other. Your relationship is onto the next stage and your bond would be much stronger.
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