A
female
age
41-50,
*iona xxx
writes:There are topics on regretting, or feeling hurt after a one night stand. This topic is about the opposite.They say having a one night stand changes you, or it stays with you. So does it stay with you in a good way?I was wondering if any of you look back on your one night stands with good memories? Possibly in a tongue in cheek way of how it happened? Do you remember the encounter vividly as though it was yesterday? Do imagine him/her and the experience you had? Do they hold a special place in your heart even though you know you have no way of contacting the person, and wouldn't anyway?I would apprecite both male and female perspectives on this please. Is this just me, I am curious?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 It's funny the difference between men and womens experience.
I can remember all of my one night stands and they were all pretty much the same: drinks/flirting back to my/her house and rampant shagging - no real emotion either way and some barely better than a wank(wellsomebody had to say it!)
My wife experiences are different, she either tries to forget them ( useless in bed, cum too quickly etc) or they were embarrasing flops or great. She told me about one guy she targeted while at University (he will the massive dick ) but they were both so drunk it turned into a joke - she couldnt stop giggling because he was trying to fit his big willy inside her and it wouldnt go in. So she went on top, managed to squeeze about an inch in then proceeded to try and force the rest in by taking an agressive position.
Snap!, followed by a visit to the emergency room. And he never looked her in the eye again.
Bless her!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Oh Heck... Now you got me going....
Hahahah..... heeehheheheee.... haahahaaahha... Oh gosh, stop it... can't catch my breath..... heeeeeee
"Perched on the edge of the edge of the bench".... heeheee
"Things going to fast"..... "It was nice meeting you"... ROFL ....
Lady you kill me... You got style and class baby.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (19 May 2008):
Fiona xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Other people too coy to answer?! LOL
I think it is a turn on for somebody, when they meet somebody who is nervous, and obviously not done this before. It is down to the other person not to be too unsuspecting or easily shocked.
My first one night stand experience was poor really, but poor from how I handled it, not his actions. It all moved quicker than I expected, and no condom. So I got the morning after pill. He said "See you around" and didn't stay the night. I learnt to keep some control, and I identify with the "on my terms" thing lexilou.
I had a great experience another time, which I really look back on! This was on a weekend away with a friend in a caravan. On the first evening, we met two guys in a pub and played pool. I knew what to expect this time, and I could feel the sexual tension. Yep things do move quickly, which is where the buzz is. I was in a spin! I had never had sex like that before, but I won't go into details. Except that I was purched on the edge of the bench/sofa.
Afterwards his mate (who was in the caravan with my friend) said "He is a rogue!" LOL.
The last time, I met an unsuspecting guy. I got a buzz out of this situation, knowing that this time, the tables were turned and he was the one who didn't normally do this kind of thing. He was very sweet, and we went out for a cooked breakfast the next morning. I said "It was nice meeting you". Hope he wasn't offended LOL.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I was hurt, mostly numb and disapointed that she couldn't have been more honest about the situation, I would have been willing to wait or refrain from sex. What happen in this situation, I know happens at all ages, it seems to be human nature.
I think when were single, we want someone. Even when were married, we want something, and if our partner doesn't or stops providing it, we yearn for it. It is a human need to have contact. We can direct it all to one person, but once we feel hurt, detached, we may seek it somewhere else. Understanding this helps us be patient with our partner. Usually though, we understand the problem, but our partner has closed off.
Sorry for mis-directing the discussion.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (18 May 2008):
Fiona xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for the replies.
I can imagine things would be more complicated if you knew the person so to speak.
I am sure the experience depends on how you handle it.
Wow you are sensitive, hope you were not hurt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Experience can be good and it can be bad. I will explain in a moment. This has brought up many memories, good (the women) and bad (how I handled some of them).
I met that gal (the one I felt was married) at a party. After we chatted, I felt by her eyes that she had already had me undressed (LOL). So I asked if she wanted to go to my place, she did. After a long night of sex (into day break), we were finishing up to leave and take her home, is when she stated the place not big enough for kids (it wasn't, my mistake), I thought it kind of odd her response. She told me she couldn't have anymore kids, she was fixed. What went through my mind, was that she was ending it, that this was a one night stand. Heck, after the night we had, I could sure enjoy doing it again, whether or not anything becamse permenant.
So to explain us sensitive guys stand. At least early in a new relationship, we absorb every word she says and take it to heart. It is a moment to learn and understand her better, that we can be a better partner and be able to provide to her, her needs. Very critical to a sensitive guy that he knows who he is with, how she ticks, so that he can nurture it, protect it, etc. It maybe dumb on our part, but that is who we are, this makes us tick, we will protect those we love, respect and care for, at all costs (which gets me into trouble at times, because I overly protect them from others if I see there space invaded, and they are upset, I will intervene).
Now that I am spilling my guts, I will tell one more. I met this girl at a vocals class held at a high school. I met this girl, and we talked allot. We had gone out on a few occasions. When I first met her, I asked how old she was. She said 18. Eventually, we ended up at my place and had sex. When I took her home, and walked her to the door, as she opened the door and said goodbye, I notice and older lady laying on the coach. I thought this was odd, but wasn't sure at this time what it meant.
The following day, she calls me up and accuses me of taking advantage of her and that I had a stud ability and gave me a phone number to call a producer (she was into acting and wanted to act, the vocal class was to help her improve her speaking ability). I was shocked! She then said she didn't want to see me anymore, and hung up. A few weeks later, she calls me up again and wonders why I no longer go to class. I told her it would have been to hard to, being that she was so angry with me. She hangs up and I never hear from her again. As I rethink this (during these conversations with her), I recall her sister was present, and when she said she was 18, I recalled her sister had an adverse response to it. I was more into her, and accepted what she said was true. When I think of that response from her sister, and the lady on the bed, I assumed the lady was her mother; she was grounded; and her sister indicated by her facial and body posture, that she wasn't 18. I really liked, her, could have seen a future for us, I recall there was nothing we couldn't say, do that we both disagreed with. I think I was numb for quite sometime after that episode. Apparently, she wasn't completely honest, and just disappointed more didn't come from it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I had two one night stands after my ex left me. I'd been with him from a teenager and he was the only guy I'd ever slept with. He cheated on me once, but I forgave him because the relationship was under strain and part of it was fault.
The first was with a friend, who I knew loved me and cared about me as much as any sister. I'd had a crush on him for years, and now he was single and I was single. I love him (like a brother) and I knew he loved me. I knew he had a large penis, was a good lover and loved and took care of all the women he'd ever been with. I called him over, told him to bring alcohol and food. (He got the food from my mum, that's how close we were) He came through the door, I got on my knees and we had a 10 hour sexual marathon, that would do a porno proud.
I felt great, but no matter how hard a tried I could get him to come. He love him, he restored my self confidence. I ended up crying, because he knew my ex and felt that he was taking advantage of me when I knew I was taking advantage of him. No one wants to have sex with someone for pity... Anyway he's been acting funny lately and wants nothing to do with me... I don't care. I love him and he's shown by his deeds he loves me, I'm waiting until he gets comfortable again with my friendship so things can get back to the way it was before. I have no regrets.
The second, holiday romance. I found the perfect man, I fell in love with his dogs and his house (sweet little thing) before I feel in love with him. He knocked me over, I didn't see it coming. He turned up one night and said come, and I followed him like a little dog. He was charming and caring and didn't want me to go next morning. I felt loved and cherished, and had the first good night sleep since my ex left me. I'd marry him if I could, but he lives far away. We're loving friends, and I speak to him all the time. He has no girlfriend, I'm living with somebody, but if I can ever find a way to bring him to the UK, he's the man I want to marry.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (18 May 2008):
Fiona xxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for the 3 replies.
For lonleytwo, gosh that must have felt odd, if you reconed she was married afterwards - not good!
It has got to feel right to do it.
I agree a fond memory occurs when you get a buzz out of it, and you know it is only a one night stand and nothing more. I think the excitement of "whose using who" is mutual LOL.
lexilou LOL!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I've had one night stands, one I recall was fantastic, hot sex!
Another was great, but she ended it with saying my place was to small for children. When I dropped her off at her place(not at but 200 feet away), I realized she was probably married.
I had a chance for another one night stand, but was glad I didn't, but also felt sad for the lady. She was a model, beautiful, but she was into drugs, which I decided to stay away from.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): I have to say I have very fond memories of one night stands.
I think people differ their opinions depending on whether it was ment to be a one night stand or whether they thought it would end up going somewhere.
At that particular time in my life I had been trampled and my heart was broken so I decided to stuff what people thought or would say and make myself happy.
In the process I had lots of fun and the only regrets from those times for me are the guys I could have had fun with but for whatever reason didn't. I remeber many experiences as extreemly exciting...not knowing who was using who was great and the circumstances that some of them happened were fab -honestly I dont condone it but I tell you what for me it was an absolute, I needed to prove to myself that I was attractive and lusted after and that if I made a bee-line for someone then I could have them, all the things that had been drained from me during the oppressing relationship that I had removed myself from.
So to answer your question....yes for me one night stands are fond memories close to my heart, even though I never wished anymore from them and I dont care if I never see them again.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (18 May 2008):
 As i was with my first hubbie from 15 to 32 I missed out on all that in my teens. However newly divorced and single I had my first one night stand at 33 and it was AWFUL!! I felt used and ashamed and didnt even really fancy the guy that much. Didnt stop me having a few more but I did it more on my terms, ie I picked the guy etc. I was amazed at how many guys are terrible at sex and pound away like a schoolboy!!!! The best one for me was sort of a one night stand but we'd been eyeing each other up at uni for ages (did my degree in my 30's) and had got chatting as he knew my sister and we eventually got it on. It was amazing but I upset him when he suggested sex again in the morning and I turned him down and he took it to mean I wasnt interested or it had been crap. Truth was he went for hours and hours the night before and all I could think was I havent got time for all that again Ill be late for work!! Bless him I dented his ego and he wouldnt talk to me for awhile but we always smile and chat if we see each other now.
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