A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hii.. oh im 19 do i have a bad past or what? when i was like 16 there was a guy i go to church with and i made out with him one time after that i cut him out my life i didnt really wanna be with him... it was bascially me feelin lonely... up to this day we are friends and jus recently he told me he remembered that even tho it was a long time ago were not interested in each other.... then 4 years later last year his friend who is also my friend took me to my highschool prom and i kissed him also on the night of my prom..but thats it im also not interested in him... im still a virgin and im pretty sure guys swap stories but neither of them has said anything bout the past cause they have dated girls that has done wayyyy more than i have...its just i dont want to be labeled as anything and since then both guys have tried on different occasions to get with me but i rejected them both what does it take for a guy to call u a slut or something?.. does this count as a bad reputation??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009): wow youre worrying about this??? you got nothing to be afraid of (i wonder why girls get nervous over small little things so easily???)
ok im sry if those last comments hurt youre feelings in any way.
to bet to the point, anyone anywhere can call anyone a slut for any reason they want. its just a word really. the bad part is how the society around us interprets that word and reacts to it.
personally i like "sluts" because they arent afraid to explore their sexuality. but i have a problem with people with little self control and a low level of pride within themselves.
people will always gossip about others, thats a fact; and with gossip comes the 'broken telephone' effect (you know the game broken telephone right?) people will also try to make others feel worse than they need to inorder to make thenselves feel better.
but you must not (im not saying shouldnt, im saying must not!!) worry about anything cause if youre 19 and you have only kissed 2 boys, then youre a lot less of a "slut" than most of the north american female population abouve the age of 12.
if you want to gain self confidence and destroy youre insecurities then work out at a gym (USE WEIGHTS, THERES ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT YOU WILL GET BULKY FROM USING 30 LB DUMBELLS!!!!) get srtonger, faster, a bit bigger, slimmer. or you could join a martial arts class, not a womens self defence class, try for something like krav maga or capeoria, or something that uses alot of weapons like kendo, iaido, or wushu. nothing says confidence like a katana!!!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 October 2009):
First of all, if any guys talk about you badly behind you back, then they have problems and to be honest, they're a bit sad.. Not you.
A lot of people seem to put emphasis on having a boyfriend or a girlfriend at a young age because they think it's right and they think it's an easy way to find happiness. It's not. I had my first real girlfriend when I was 16, it lasted 6 months, then I didn't have another girlfriend until I was 21. Not once did I ever feel lonely, or did I let it get to me, because I was generally happy with myself and my life. That's what's important. Okay, you don't have a boyfriend at the moment. It's no big thing, and there's no rush. A really decent guy will see that you're a great girl and that you have standards and values you keep to. That's a real plus. But guys can be very wary of girls with low self esteem. So instead of worrying about not having a boyfriend, really focus on making yourself happy through socializing with friends, focusing on college or work and your future, and perhaps doing something fun, like dancing, where you can meet other poeple. You will find your Mr Right if you take your time. So do that. Better to find the right guy once, than the wrong guy twice. You have time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know but i know guys still talk....i dont feel because of what i have done... its just i know they talk about me maybe not to my face but in sublte little jokes they make...its just that i have been single for soo long idk if its affecting my self esteem and im jus takin this too seriously idk please help!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
You're worrying far too much. There is nobody on earth who can say you're a slut. Nobody. You're a lovely lady who barely even has a past. You've rejected them both, yes, but that's nowhere near enough to label you a slut. Be proud of yourself for taking your time and not giving yourself away to the wrong guy.
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