A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met him on valentine's day... It was like a movie-scene..After a late night at work on valentine's day.. I decided to take a taxi home, because public transportation has already stopped operating. But I found out that I didn't have enough of cash money! So I got into a biker-taxi.. which was much cheaper.At first It felt embarrasing. It was my first biker ride. The driver was really nice and sweet.. He didn't want to accept my money at first. I insisted and gave him my dinner-box and 5 euros. He asked me my number. We met a few times.. had a few drinks within a week. And he would bring me home with his bike. As we were getting to know each other better, I found out that he was a smart, adventurous and honest guy. But naive and very poor. I work very hard for a good amount of money. He tends to be a bit lazy and is easily satisfied with nothing.I knew he was into me. But I didn't take him seriously and barely had time to meet up with him after a week of daily meetings with him. Maybe it came as a shock to him which I didn't notice. I was secretely afraid he was going to use me for my money. And I just felt that he would always be there since he was so poor. (I know I was wrong)A week went by after I told him I was busy and other excuses.. he stopped calling and texting after a few tries.. It was just after another week when I called him but his phone was switched off. Another week went by and I still havent heard from him. I called his niker-company and they told me that he has lost his phone and lost all his numbers and didn't get a new cellphone yet. Maybe he just can't afford one. But still, he could have contacted me! He knows where I live and work! WHY DIDN'T HE??? SHOULD I FIND HIM INSTEAD?? WAS I MY FAULT FOR LOSING HIM?I miss him very much... I never dreamed that I would miss him this much! I don't know why.. A part of me is telling me not to seek him... Because we would end up nowhere because we are too different and he doesn't care(otherwise he would've contacted me). The other part is just missing him and want to see him... Because he showed me the other side of life.. which I actually enjoyed.. Maybe it's because I want to know how poor people live out of curiosity? Because he was adventurous? I wanted to hitchhike with him! Anyway, I liked it. HE NEVER SAID GOODBYE. :(I don't know.. don't know.. It keeps me wondering.. WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN....Thank you for reading my LONG story and for your help! I appreciate it very much! :)P.S. Sorry for any misspells, Im not a native english speaker.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): No, hon,..you would no be right to let him use you. It could become more of a habit with him than you would like. And he could become more difficult to get rid of later. And what if you should suddenly meet "Mr. Right"? Then, what would the complications be? I am sure Mr. Right would not understand or appreciate "biker boy".
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): If he is a heavy drug user, he will use you, even if not intentionally. I understand how someone who was in your life and then absent can become an obsession.
You would be wise to let it go now, before you get intertwined in his life and his problems! I also understand how the contrast between your life and his can be exciting to you right now. But in the end it will only cause trouble and heartache!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI accidentally ran into him yesterday night! I just walked out of a restaurant and.. there he was! cycling right in front of me. So, I called his name.. he explained that he lost his cell-phone and wanted to look for me when he got a new cellphone.
We went to have a drink. I paid ofcourse. But I don't mind.. a few drinks means nothing to me. I don't think he is a good partner for me. But he could be a good campanion when I have free time and nothing to do?
I found out I was idealizing him because of his absence.. I'm sorry to say that he a loser; he is on drugs. I am against the use of drug. He might think he can use me, but the question is.. am I willing to let him use me? Am I wrong?
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reader, Kitty98  +, writes (22 March 2009):
He probably thought you didn't want him... that might be it. Try and meet him where you met him the first time. You never know you 2 might actually be together forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): Well, as you said, you are both very different. You have a good job and earn a decent salary; he does not. It can be very embarrassing for a man to date a woman when he cannot pay his own way if you go out for a meal, or to a movie, etc.
Not only that, but even though you enjoyed seeing him every day for a week, you DON'T (and can't) know what he's really like as a person, you know.
The bottom line is: you told him you were too busy to see him, and he most likely thought you meant it. You had your doubts, otherwise you would not have tried to discourage him, right?
Finally, even if he has no phone, are there not public phone booths where he could put a coin in and contact you that way? Believe me, if he really wanted to get in touch, he'd find a way! But think about this: perhaps HE realizes you don't have much in common, and has decided to let it go......which is what you should do. IF you happen to run into him, then you can decide whether to go out again, but you have nothing to blame yourself for......I agree with what Friend Tom has written......
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): It sure does sound like a movie! If you are "just curious as to how poor people live" let it go! But if you infact, enjoyed being with him, and enjoyed the otherside of life...then try to find him! It sounds as though you really do want to see him again.
Be on the same street, same time, same night, as when you first met. Wait for him to come by and take it from there. You don't know exactly when he lost his cell phone. It may have been after you didn't respond to his calls and texts. He may be thinking you weren't interested. He may not be bold enough to go to your house! Wouldn't it be romantic if you looked out your window and there he sat...on his bicycle, looking up at your window! Oh, I am such a romantic! I am cheering for you! I hope you find him so you can have a happy ending to this story!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): Anonymous,..I think he may not want to continue any close "friendship" with you. Not that he does not like you. He may like you very much. But, he knows you are in a different world from his. And he does not want to get seriously involved only to have it hurt both you and him. Sorry, but that is how I see it. And yes, he could certainly contact you if he wished to. Obviously, he does not. So, take it as a point of respect for yourself...from him.
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