A
female
age
36-40,
*hyami2009
writes:hi.. im 22 years old and my Bf asked me to marry him like 4 and half months now, i love him which is why I said yes when he asked me.. we've been a couple for like 1 year and and 7 months now but he didnt tell me that he's got a 13 year old son, i just known it last 3 months ago, i got hurt so bad and i just wanna forget him and i meet this other guy who always on my side and he makes me happy.. my bf and me start talking again and im so stupid and now we're engaged.. but im not really happy about marrying him, but i dont wanna hurt his feelings. everything has been settled now for the marriage, im counting the days and it makes me sad and sad.. i feel like im being in love with the other guy that i meet and he said he is in love with me too.. weird but please i need some advice! help pls!
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female
reader, Missprettynpurple  +, writes (19 March 2010):
first you need to end this marriage thing now!!next you need to anaylis your life and your future.is this man's son rly such a barrier for your love for him.and is this new guy just a sub for the man you rly want.your making a very big web an two people you love ( or like) are gonna get hurt.
i suggest you get your feelings in order and then talk two both these men and say whats on your heart not what you think they want to hear.
and im warning you now it may not be a happy ending but itz gonna save you an the ppl around u alot of pain.
X
A
male
reader, mikehimself  +, writes (19 March 2010):
please DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH THE MARRIAGE BEFORE AT LEAST TALKING WITH YOUR FIANCÉE. He has a right to know how you are feeling, and you both need to be going into this marriage with open hearts and clear consciences. About this other guy, it depends. He could just a foil for your confused emotions and a substitute for your fiancée (who you feel you can't talk to), or he might actually be much better for you, as in more your type, closer to your age....?
I can only assume, since you are 22 and he has a 13 year-old son , that he is quite a bit older than you. (13 month-old maybe? but no matter.) Telling you AFTER you got engaged is weird to say the least. you need not shoulder all the guilt about putting the marriage in question. On some level, by not telling you this massively important fact about him before proposing, he was deceiving you. You owe it to each other to have a serious talk about everything you are thinking and feeling about. No matter how it turns out, it will be better in the long run.
And a wedding is never settled. Things always go wrong. Sometimes they get called off. Don't stress over that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): Im in a simular situation but you are luckier because the other man loves you back. If the other man that im in love with, loved me back, well, i know i would run to him like a shot. If you marry your man you will always be wondering what if, so i suggest that you dont.You only get one shot at life and you really need to do what makes you happy and if being with the other man makes you happy then thats what you should do. I hope you settle this and make the right choice for you x
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