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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi all. I met a guy on Facebook. We've been talking for about three months. He seems like a decent, respectful person. When I saw his profile picture, I was attracted to him. He looks so handsome. Yesterday, while speaking he requested a picture of myself (not nude). So i requested one from him as well. When I got the picture, immediately I was turned off. The picture was much clearer than the one on Facebook. I'm not certain if the one on Facebook has many years difference. It was dated 2020. The recent picture, he looked so different. And what turned me off, is the fact that he resembles a man who owns a tutoring business. I look extra lessons at his place of business and he taught me accounting. I was 16 at that time. His wife was the receptionist. When she wasn't there, he subtly flirted with me. Whenever my boyfriend at that time came to meet me after classes that man used to seem angry towards my bf. That man gave off pervy vibes and grossed me out. Seeing this guy's picture yesterday brought back memories on how that man made my skin crawl. This new guy wants to take me out on a date. But this image of him scrawls my blood as all i can see is Mr. Perv. The image on FB, he didn't smile. This one he was smiling brightly and his eyes are small similarly to my formers lessons teacher. His nose has the same shape as the teacher and similar thick lips. I normally look at his status and reach out to him but today it was a no no. He reached out and told me he wants to take me out on a date. How can I dismiss him easily? Should I go on one date and see if he actually looks like that man? Or he just had a bad photo.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2022): You can’t be too careful about safety these days. I’d listen to your gut and don’t meet up with him!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 June 2022):
 I'd say no.
If he gives you creeped-out vibes (mostly due to how he looks similar to the dodgy pervy tutor) there is probably something else you have picked up on that you are unsure of.
Or if you are really unsure, HAVE a video call/facetime/Skype conversation and then see how you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2022): I often say to my own friends that dating people you've met on Facebook (or any other social media platform) is just like going on a blind date. Even if there's a picture, or a ton of selfies; the shots could be years old, or somebody else. You don't know until you've met them face-to-face. Only then, do you know who that person is; and only time will tell if they match their profile description, and the social media persona they've created for themselves.
People cannot, by any stretch of the imagination, help that they resemble other people; and it's totally absurd to judge somebody solely on the basis of their resemblance to someone else. Do you want to be judged by your appearance? How would you feel to be left sitting waiting at the meeting location; but he left based on his first glance at you? How would you like someone to reject you, because you might creep them out for looking like someone he met years ago? How would you feel about a guy, if he told you that? You might not have said that, but the reaction on your part is the same.
If you're that creeped-out, don't waste yours or his time. Just cancel the date, block his contact and access to your social media accounts; and move on. You've never met, so that ought to be easy to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2022): From your post I gathered that you lost interest. I wouldn't go out with him. Just tear the band-aid.
Just say that you can't meet up. Hopefully you didn't give him any important info.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2022): Go out on a date with him if you want to.
Then if it doesn't work out for any reason, you can just say that someone's come back into your life and you can no longer meet up.
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