A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a virgin and I'm pretty worried about having sex for the first time. I definitely have a hymen that will need to break. When I use a certain kind of tampons that are too big, it hurts like holy hell trying to get them out - I've worried about breaking my own hymen (hasn't happened yet). Is this normal or not? For the ladies who have had sex, how much did it hurt you the first time?
View related questions:
hymen, tampon Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): I always thought i wouldnt get any pain at all, but it hurt soooooooo much i had to ask to stop,i was very turned on but it still hurt reli badly, really do think it depends on the person.
A
female
reader, bunnyblueeyes  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 It barely hurt for me at all. But it does depend on how much foreplay etc. Make sure your really turned on and wet and if you're not use lube.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): er-sorry to tell you this but if you've been using tampons your hymen is already broken-so it wont hurt as much as it could
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): If you relax and go at your own speed then you should be fine. My first time hardly hurt at all.
If you're able to put in a tampon then you're hymen is already broken so you don't need to worry about that
best of luck
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 If you're dry it can hurt. I think when you remove those tampons that are big they have also sucked up all the moisture so you will be very dry. Hence the extra friction and pain when pulling them out. If I put a tampon in when not on my period and let it suck me dry and then pulled it out it'd be uncomfortable for me as well, even if I've had sex for years.
First times vary a lot from woman to woman. For me it was just a mix of a little pain and a little pleasure. However I had been masturbating using my fingers and toys, so I think knowing my body a little helped me relax. If you're tensed up you automatically... tighten up as well. There's a muscle down there after all which you can relax or tighten, which will of course affect the intercourse.
My mistake for my first times though was that I wasn't wet. At all. I had no idea. You need to be TURNED ON and slippery wet down there for things to go smoothly. Even after years of sex, if Im not wet down there and a guy tries it on it will hurt!
So, be relaxed, be with someone you feel comfortable with and who turns you on and makes you feel good, be wet, and let things go the natural course.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): It completely depends on the person tbh.. for me it hardly hurt at all, but for another friend it seemed to be incredibly painful, despite her bf having a much smaller penis than my bf's. The main thing I would definitely recommend is for you to talk to whoever you will have sex with to make sure they understand how nervous you are about it and get them to take it slow, and start off with just fingering first. As the other person said, using lube is probably a good idea, seeing as though some women produce more natural lubrication than others. Another tip I was given is to relax and make yourself comfortable, the more nervous you are, the more tensed up you will be and the more it will hurt. Also, do watch out for the blood, as in my case, it can be a killer for getting yourself caught.. ;) although there shouldn't be too much :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): I think the worst part is if you are nervous. It is best to just relax.. even now (I have been sexually active for 20 years) it still hurts if I am tense. Of course, easier said than done.. I recommend lots of foreplay and maybe a massage to help you relax. Eventually it gets better. My first time was awkward at best.. I didn't know what I was doing and neither did he. But it does get better. :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): i think it all depends .. my first time wasnt that bad... i did bleed a little but it wasnt as painful as some people make it seem. .. dont worry ... just let the guy know to take it slow and you will be fine :)
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Actually the hymen breaking part isn't generally the part that hurts. It will only hurt if you're not thoroughly turned on. If you are REALLY turned on, like close to orgasm, and use some lube, it's possible to not hurt at all. The main reason the first time hurts is that you're not physically ready for it (like arousal). Before you have sex for the first time it's really tough to know what ready enough is, because you don't know what to expect. I can promise you it won't feel like what you think it will feel like (not the tampon, it's just a very different sensation). For instance my first time hurt a LOT because I just wasn't turned on enough. When you're aroused your vagina can expand to be stretchy enough to accommodate a fist, but when you're not aroused, even a tampon will hurt. So make sure you are very turned on and use lube and it won't hurt.
...............................
|
