A
female
age
36-40,
*oanna1987
writes:I recently got into a relationship with someone who lives quite far away from me at least a one hour car journey. we get on so well and we really like eachother. we were out the other day and he was texting I asked him who he was texting and before he could answer I saw the name Jennifer on his phone I questioned him and he said 'she's just asking how I am' I made him show me the conversation it was only a short conversation she was asking how he was and he was responding. but she was calling him baby nd he was calling her bbz I got annoyed but he said she was just a friend and that's how he talks to his girl mates. he also has photos of girls on his phone who he says are cousins and friends He also has photos of me, I'm his background. am I being paranoid? Maybe they are just friends? The thing is because he lives far away he could be getting up to no good and I wouldn't be any the wiser. I really like him and I dont want to ruin things by jumping to conclusions. what to do?
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (7 February 2011):
Its easy to feel paranoid about these things, and its good that you are wary of jumping to conclusions. I would have an honest talk with him about it if it really concerns you. Don't make it a fight or an argument; express as kindly as you can that sometimes you're uncomfortable about some of his woman friends. But honestly, he is entitled to have friends, regardless of their gender.
Another thing that I'm sure would help is to try and get to know some of his friends. Next time you drive to visit him, say that you would like to meet the people he spends time with. Once you get to know them, you may find that they are genuine people who are, as he says, just friends.
Either way, letting the truth come out naturally is always better than forcing it out through an argument. Good luck!
A
female
reader, BeccaLeigh +, writes (7 February 2011):
It looks like your boyfriend is a flirt.It could be harmless, but then again, it could easily blossom into full on infidelity. Keep an eye on it, and if it keeps happening or gets worse, he's probably not the guy for you.
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