A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just a short question about some behavior changes I've noticed with my girlfriend.We have a 3 month old son, been together for just over two years, I love her very much and she seems like she feels the same, I'm completely happy with life. Towards the beginning of the relationship she would need me to be with her for everything, talked to me on the phone evrynight (we have to go long distance during the week because I'm 3 hours away at college) and seemed to talk to me about everything no matter what. I actually got annoyed sometimes because she was so dependent on me and required alot of time, but I never told her about it and it wasn't a big deal I love her its normal girl behavior I suppose. But in the last couple months she seems to be alot more independent, doesn't text me too much only when I text her, calls usually once a day but doesn't usually talk long, maybe half hour at most, and just seems to be doing fine without me. I don't really dont think shes cheating, but maybe shes getting more mature (im 22 shes only 20) and is feeling more independent.Girls, does this sound normal? Is she being more independent or getting bored and losing interest, getting attention from someone else, or getting the 3 year itch?Whats your comments or advice.Thanks for reading
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 February 2011):
 She's paying most of her attention to the baby. It always happens when women have just had a child, because the baby needs constant care.
A
female
reader, youngmummy16  +, writes (3 February 2011):
My boyfriend and I have a three month old son and he is a handful already. I don't have anywhere near as much time to text and talk to him as I did. I don't think your the reason shes not in contact as much, but i agree with tennisstar88, that contact is vital in a LDR. Try getting her to ring when she has a spare second, eg when the baby is asleep. I admire the fact that you want to finish college, my boyfriend dropped out when I got pregnant and has been stuck doing nothing since. Im sure she is apprieciative that you are doing that too as that will mean you will be able to support your little family when you have graduated.
What are your plans once you have finished college?
Hope this helps a little! x
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 February 2011):
 It's really hard to say..usually in a LDR both parties need to keep up communication as much as each person can. That's all you have, except for when it's possible to visit, but in LDRs it's not as often as you would like it to be.
I know in every LDR I have ever had, communication was never an issue. For some reason I couldn't talk to them that much, then it was because I was busy. If I wasn't interested in this LDR anymore, then I would lessen up on communication before I dumped then.
Your girlfriend could be accustomed to the LDR, to the point where she doesn't have to talk to you everyday, hours on end. Does she have a job, school? A new mother doesn't have a whole lot of time on her hands especially with a 3 month old. Or perhaps she's losing interest in this LDR.
Not enough in your post to tell, but if I had to guess then I would say the 3 month old is requiring a lot of her time to where she doesn't have too much for you. I would be careful because you don't want the communication to die, seeing as that is all you have in a LDR.
Why don't you ask her if everything is ok with your relationship, if she's happy etc. ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat makes sense, I know she is really busy especially with our new son, I'm three months away from graduating college and its so essential for us that I graduate so I have to spend time away from her and my son I just hope she doesn't feel like "i'm getting out of parenting" I come home as often as possible. I think you have a good point tho I like the fact that she can exist without my being there all the time, I just noticed a change in her, tho not bad just a change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): I am a mother of three.... I might have a good idea where your girlfriend is at. When I had a baby I fell madly in love all over again with my new baby. My poor husband had to take a back seat each time and he lost a lot of my attention. I understand that this is quite normal, though not ideal. Also, as relationships grow, so does a persons security in the relationship. It is a good sign for your girlfriend to be less dependent on you. It is healthy, and it may be a sign of her feeling more secure in your relationship.... you mentioned you used to get a bit annoyed with her constant contact, so I suggest to you that you embrace the new found confidence and independance she is experiencing. It makes for a much happier and healthier relationship. It does get VERY busy being a mum, and she may struggle to find more time to be constantly in touch with you. I suggest you keep supporting her. If she starts to neglect you too much, you may want to have a discussion to work out ways that you have more quality time together, especially all three of you. Relationships change and grow....make sure you change and grow together. It does sound all good. Good luck.
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