A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before the split up we been together for like over 3 years. Anyway, when we got back together we wanted to start off new. But now I'm concerned with something. I do not want to sound controlling or anything but I've noticed that last week my gf talks to her male friend at 1AM in the morning until like 3 or 4AM at night. I told her I was really uncomfortable with this and she said she understands because I explained to her that if it was in reverse how would she feel and she said she would feel the same way. So I thought she would stop and now I noticed last night (5 days later) that she talked to him for another 3 1/2 hours again last night after we got off the phone at 1AM. I asked her whats up and told her I was uncomfortable with this and she said that he is going through some issues. But when she talked with him 5 days before that for 3 hours he wasn't. She says he works late at night, so she can't talk to him throughout the day. She also says that he is a close family friend (her cousin's best friend), has a lot of female friends and a girlfriend. If that is so, why doesn't he call his gf when he gets off of work late at night? Or his other female friends? And if I told my girlfriend I was uncomfortable with those late night calls and she still called or accepted to talk to him that late how should I react to this? Am I wrong for feeling like this? Or is it just to feel this way? That she didn't consider how I felt about this.***P.O.I. she talked to him like 5 days ago for over 3 hours and since I told her how I felt, she stopped talking to him on the phone during those hours, but texed him and talked occasionally to him during some days of the week, when he was off of work. But now last night she talked to him again for over 3 hours from like 12AM or 1AM to 4AM***--quick overview
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best friend, cousin, got back together, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGreat Advice..Thanks people I really appreciate it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): I agree with caringguy. This probably isn't the only thing she's doing behind your back. I also don't think you should show her this. She wont take a conversation about the issue as seriously if the main argument is from random people on the internet, it needs to come from you. Assert yourself and let her know, in a confident manner, that you are prepared to end this relationship if she isnt fully vested in it.
I wish you luck, and hope that you don't discover anything else to hurt you.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 March 2010):
She's either cheating, or working up to it. Best bet is to try and listen to what's being said in these conversations. Yes, it's spying, but you have really good cause. She's already lied to you about stopping, so what else is she lying about? Dig deeper and see what you can find before you do anything else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShould I show her this, thread to let her know what others think? Or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): I had the same issue with my boyfriend, but of course it was a girl he was talking to. After I confronted him about the midnight phone calls from her, he told me she was an old friend, but I found that hard to believe. I had never met her or even heard about her!I asked him to cut off contact because she wasnt calling him to be friends. Then the phone calls and texts magically happened when he was at work or school (we're in college).
I took my phone back from him one day only to get a text from her at the exact time he would have been on lunch at work. I pretended to be him (I know, I know) and sure enough she told him(me) that his girlfriend wasnt gonna come between them and that if he wanted her than he could have her. I showed him the texts and sure enough there has been no contact since.
He claims he didnt know she was into him, but nobody is that blind. Imfortunate that he saw the path he was going down before it got too messy. I hope that your girlfriend will too. Either that or brace yor self for the "I cheated" converstaion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): He might just be a really good friend or not, point is you told her you were not comfortable with this situation and she agreed with you to stop. She continues it so try talking to her again and hear her side of the story, bottom line is she told you she would stop so she lied. It bothers you and I don't think you should put up with it.
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