A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I know I've been asking a lot of questions, but definitely this is something I MUST ask.My girlfriend keeps texting behind my back or in front of me while we go out. However, when I ask her to let me see who she's texting she'll never show it to me. Always hides it from me. I caught her once, flirt texting with one of her good friends, who 7 months into our relationship almost stole her from me. Also the guy has constantly been a thorn in the side of our relationship. Whenever she has problems she runs to him and I see her smiling and gleeming happy as a kid. Ontop of that, I've caught her flirt texting with the guy before. Then a couple months later, I catch her calling the guy at 1am in the morning almost every single night (I know because I pay for her phone bills). And just yesterday she was out with my group of friends to eat food (which I didn't attend) and all my friends were like she was texting THAT GUY nonstop and she was really happy too.I've told her plenty of times, stop texting and calling the guy and even interacting with the guy, please, because he's ruining this relationship, she says yes, then look what happens? I find out she's texting him again! Here's what I have for you guys, is it right? Am I wrong in asking her to show me her phone just once, so I can see what and who she's texting to? Also, am I the bad guy here? Like is she cheating on me? Do I have any right to tell her no you can't be texting or calling that guy anymore? Like I'm lost, this is my first relationship, so I know I have a lot of questions, but I'm just tryin to learn and protect myself from getting hurt, that's all.Please help
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male
reader, Anubis  +, writes (14 June 2014):
She's clearly using you for money and other benefits. Particularly if she is not giving you regular sex.
You pay her phone bills and shes using that money to flirt text other men? Time to dump her ass and move on dude. Don't waste your time.
There are plenty of other women out there just waiting for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Tell her how much you lve her and try to get her not to txt him anymore take her out for the day let her see how much you love her AND MAKE SURE SHE LEAVES HER PHONE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 She can text when you're not there. She can borrow a friend's phone and text from it. So, your asking her to show you her phone is useless. Also, it sort of suggests that you will control what she does.
And what would you do if you found out she's been texting someone else? Lock her up in a tower?
If she wants to text this kind of text messages to another guy, there is no stopping her. My question for you is why would you have to be with someone who doesn't seem to understand her texting is not right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): I think you talk to her again, and tell her that your seriously concerned. She shouldn't text right in front of your face but she shouldnt hide it either; and she should know there is a limit, but you've got to give her a little privacy to not act like your running her life for her. You should understand that she should have another friend that she can talk to about her problems, And not just you. You love her and she should know your only worried about your relationship because you want it to last. She obviously cares about the guy in question, and i think if anything they wil be best friends or like brother and sister. When you think about it, your the one shes with; for a reason.
Hope i helped, good luck with your girlfriend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): this i feel i have to reply to as i am in a simalar situation. id say yes your right to ask if she has nothing to hide there should be no problem in seeing the phone. you are not the bad guy and by no means should you put up with this. confront her or him... ask whats going on.
you have 50% say in the relationship. so if your uncofortable say so, if she loves you she should comprimise.
or do what im doing, let it run its corse
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