A
male
age
,
*ingleBeachDad
writes:I was introduced to this woman 4 months ago and we instantly hit it off. Our conversations were long and in depth. There was a connection I have never felt with anyone before.. physically, spiritually, emotionally and we both made a comment that it was very refreshing. We both professed our love for each other, were spending all the time we could together spending nights having sex. I made the comment that it felt like we have known each other before and our short time felt like years. Two months later she(cold turkey)quit taking her Zoloft and things got strange quick. She started pulling away, becoming upset at the littlest things. She quit telling me she loved me. Our last "in depth" conversation we talked about it and she was beating herself for hurting me and my daughter and said how could she love me if she didn't love herself. Then said I was being needy and I should "man-up" and stand up to her for being so short tempered. Knowing that she was off her medication I was trying to be understanding. I told her I didn't feel it was fair to our relationship that she went off her medication so soon. Her reply was the medication and that our issue were separate. She said that she went from nobody wanting her attention to two people wanting it. She was welling up and being hard on herself saying "how could I hurt this wonderful man and his daughter". I suggested that we went too fast, and that we should date once or twice a week. I didn't hear from her for 4 days and it's crushing to me, when she did call, she said I sounded good (which was a facade) then asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. (yes!) We have since gone on two dates both which were really nice and light hearted, but it seems so superficial compared to where we were at before Now(like she mentioned)I am NOW feeling insecure and needy. At times it feels like there is an elephant standing on my chest. I want tell her how I really feel but now am scared if I do, I will come off being needy and turn her off even more. I am really trying to be strong but am so confused and don't really know what to do anymore. Now I feel like I need medication! ;) Any advise would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance. SBD
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male
reader, SingleBeachDad +, writes (8 January 2013):
SingleBeachDad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, She called today and we met with a very promising outcome. We sat down and talked out all of our issues & concerns. We confessed our love for each other and agreed we both have never really had a healthy relationship, coupled with the both of our mental health issues we have decided to get couples counselling. We both are very honest and do have good communication (when we talk) I feel that we will work it out, it may not be easy, but anything worth while isn't easy. Thanks again and say a prayer! :) SBD
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 You're welcome SBD. Talking about mental health issues is really, really hard but it sounds as though you both have good communication and honesty on your side.
She herself must have noticed a big difference in herself since she stopped the Zoloft, and I wonder why she abruptly came off it. If it was side effects, then her doctor could suggest a different anti depressant for her to try. Dd
If she is suffering from the SSRI withdrawal syndrome, it really is terrible. It can bring out mental and physical symptoms that weren't there before the drug was being used. I don't know if she's aware of that. There are forums devoted to it, which could help both of you. But it might not be withdrawal syndrome and could be return of her depression, or even a mixture of both.
I think you should gently encourage her to speak to her doctor. All the very best to you both.
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A
male
reader, SingleBeachDad +, writes (8 January 2013):
SingleBeachDad is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You Aunts
I know she is still the wonderful woman I met. This is a multi-fauceted situation. With the both of us having issues. We met at a group workshop yesterday which was very enlightening for both of us. She was very distant when we arrived and when we broke off into pairs she was with someone else. I feel if we were paired together we wouldn't have mad any progress. I admitted to the group to having abandonment issues from my ex-wife/marriage and she admitted to having self esteem issues. She seemed a lot better afterwards and was/felt a little closer. I still have not talked to her since yesterday at the workshop but I am feeling stronger with the hope that I can be there for her when she comes around. At the moment I guess only time will tell. Thanks again! SBD
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 January 2013):
Hello
Your girlfriend is probably suffering because she came off the antidepressant too quickly. Zoloft is one of the ones that people are supposed to taper off slowly. The physical side effects of going cold turkey can be absolutely horrible. On top of that is the obvious chance of the depression returning.
I found a link which might be helpful:
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/withdrawal-from-antidepressants
Perhaps you could suggest that she go back to her doctor and start back on a lower dose than her original dose, then once she's on more of an even keel, slowly taper the dose down.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (7 January 2013):
Hello SBD.She is still the wonderfuly woman that you have fallen for.But she has stopped taking her medication,this is having some effect on her. Try and be calm within yourself and not stress youself out ,Because this will not help either of you.Try and have a quiet chat with her and advise her to start taking her medication again.If this fails advise her to see her doctor. Best Luck Nora B.
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