A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm married and I fell for a guy i worked with (whom I thought was super sweet) without even knowing what was happening. He made me feel like we could be friends and that I could trust him to be mature enough to talk to about somethings i was going through in marriage. While I was with him he made me trust him so much that I did things with him that I never evven did with my husband sexually. After about 1 1/2 yr together I decided if he loved me as he said then he should show the world and that he wouldn't continue to push me to live the way I was all along so we could be together without hiding.knowing I was pregnant he left me and told me he didn't have enough to support a family though he loved me and that I should settle for what we shared. I made every effort to get away from him (changed my phone number,got another job,etc) but he came to my job and even when I would hang out with my friends he would show up. ( he's a cop so it wouldn't matter calling them and reporting him. I had an abortion for various health reasons and if that didn't break my heart enough he made sure I knew he was with other women and had his friends call me to make sure I believed I did him a wrong by leaving him. Strangely after talking with my husband about everything he stood by me and is supporting me daily. But,to this day (after we've been over for 1yr and counting) this guy doesn't leave me alone he tells me i belong to him and he loves me and truth is I feel helpless and as if I don't even want to show my face in public cause I don't know what the world thinks of me...there's so much I wanna say but I feel like he's even looking at me while I'm typing this...any advice?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 January 2013):
 Does your husband know that the guy continues to bug you? How about getting a restraining order? You sound pretty paranoid to me.I would think you and your husband would be able to address the issue, after all there is a law against stalking in this country. If most of this is in your mind then therapy is called for, sometimes guilt can do very strange things to one's mental state.
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