A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a girl I've known for close to 8 years. We have now been dating for about 4 months. I found out years ago that she danced, not stripped but danced. Very provocative clothing, g-string, bra type of stuff but never took anything off. But the fact is, I'd like her to dance for me but it's uncomfortable. She said she'd never work like that again and it was just to pay off some debt and she never liked it but how do I deal with it.She truly is the best thing for me, but how do I deal with the fact that she did this. How do I not get upset every time it comes up or every time I see a dancer, stripper or even a stripper pole on tv or a movie.Please help me, she's the girl of my dreams and this dwells in my head for hours at a time!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): Hi anonymous,
She is the girl of your dreams. Appreciate that she could pay her debts with dancing like she did and realize that this is one of the reasons that she is so special for you.
Imagine she was a stiff rigid woman, would she be so special for you? I do not want to go into details.
Also realize that she is somebody who can find solutions and can adapt to circumstances.
And furthermore, she can love you as nobody else, I mean intense love you. I am pretty sure about this.
Once your eyes will open and you start to understand that everything is connected, you will really appreciate when she is dancing for you. From that moment she will be even more special then she was ever before.
You're a lucky guy, take care her very well.
Hope my answer could help you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): well thats the thing, she said for fun one night, she wouldn't mind dancing, but she won't dance until I stop asking her to.
My mind is so messed up about it, no matter what she says - I never liked it, I stayed as far away from their crouches as possible, tried not to look at them, it all still bothers me
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A
female
reader, aimee-elizabeth  +, writes (24 February 2009):
i think that you should understand that your girlfriend was in a desperte possition (paying off her debts) also understand that this was her past. your girlfriend probly lacks self confidence now, as she would have felt degraded whilst dancing for these men. this is probably why she does not feel confortable dancing for you. once you have been together longer and built up more trust, her opinions and your opinions on her dancing may change for the better. Talk to her in depth about it and why she did it, and you may begin to understand fully, think about it as if you were in her shoes and once you understad fully you will be able to let it rest and stop thinking about it xxx
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (24 February 2009):
 I can understand what you are feeling as I dwell on things my boyfriend has done in the past. Ultimatly the past is the past! You will learn to deal with it in your own way nobody can tell you how to, it just takes time. I'm sure she wouldn't have done It if she didn't need to! And if she dances for you this will make the situation worse as she will be doing what she did to. Other men, don't go there! It will be horrible. X
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