A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi my girlfriend and i have been seeing each other for nine months.i just found out she has been sexting and sending nude pics to other guys. im crushed but i love her. trust is an issue now.i was given a really lame excuse about it all. its been a few days since then and i asked her if thiers been any more she asked why several times then said ... i thought we talked about it and got all mad. am i just an idiot or can someone shead some real advice my way.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): thank for the imput yes we are in a relationship as just her and i.well i thought that was it. she swears up and down she loves me if so this shpildnt of happend she has lied and hid it all since we started dating.thiers puther stuff she lied about also. i feel stupid getting her a ring . so if i find out shes still up to no good i need to cut my ties altogether. that is the answer
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 April 2013):
 when my now ex husband was my boyfriend and husband I found he had many online female friends that he texted inappropriately with. I ignored it.
I was never enough for him. He swore he loved me but he needed that ego stroke of other women.... it was eventually a big contributor in the death of our relationship.
her getting mad is a smoke screen because she got caught and she knows she is wrong.
you may never trust her again. I never trusted my husband after I caught him in lies over and over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): I am no angel but I got my girlfriend to read your story andhelp me try and figure out why your girlfriend did what she did. My first reaction would be is she happy and satisfied with you? My next question is do you sit down or communicate your feelings to each other when it comes to the bedroom activities? Are you both in a single monogamous relationship? If you are not I believe that may be some of the problem that you are both encountering. You didn't say. I kind of suspect that you both are not or haven't established clear parameters. I am not going to beat your girlfriend up on this since I believe she may be acting like she is looking for a man and willing to put her body on line for men to view to get her catch. My girlfriend has told me that some of her friends did do such things but it was to look for a man in a committed monogamous relationship. All of her female friends who did this are in long term committed relationships now and still going strong. I wouldn't like my girlfriend posting nude pics of herself on line to men. That's a guys point of view. My girlfriend says that she wouldn't but knows some that would to get the man of their dreams. At the end you have to find out if you are in a committed relationship with this women. If not determine if you want to develop one with her. But maybe she doesn't and then you decide what to do. I don't think anyone would say I am wrong if I told you that sexting while in a one and one relationship is wrong. And this goes for the guys also.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 April 2013):
 She got mad because not only did she get caught red-handed, but you didn't just roll over with JOY that she is doing this. You dared to question her morals.
Obviously the subject is closed for her, but not for you. How are you two going to fix this if she won't even talk about it?
Also how can you trust her if she doesn't think it's an issue? My bet is that IF you DID the same thing it wouldn't be OK.
My advice is for YOU to figure out if this (her sending nude shots and sexting others ) is a dealbreaker or not. If it is, break up and end contact with her. If it NOT a dealbreaker you need to figure out WHAT you need for her to move on.
I have to agree with you that sexting and sending nude shot to other people, is NOT OK in a monogamous relationship and I don't think it's harmless either. Because it may start out as flirting, then sexting, then what? Sexting in my book is cheating. It might be fantasy in her mind, but then why is she having these "fantasies" with other men?
You got some thinking to do, bro.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): Oh sorry to hear that. boy you a got a pervert gf.
Il'd say run and try to forget her. cuz people like her will never change. She might but its her. she will always go back to her old ways.
a girl like that is someone who can never be happy with just one man. she needs lots of attention. extra attention. if you love her stick with her but be ready for the consequences.
anyway once you've had enough, you will definitely initiate saying goodbye..
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