A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a rough spot with my girlfend...big time. She is 23 and I am 22. We have been dating for about 9 months and living together for the last 6 of them. We had great communication in the beginning and want the same things in life both professionally and personally.The problem came a few months ago when I noticed that she didn't seem to interested in me as she once was. I in turn began to smother her by trying to hard. About a week ago she told me that she doesn't feel the spark that you're supposed to feel in a relationship. And she said she never has, she was just trying to make it work. The thing that really confuses me is that she was the on who came after me, kissed me, had sex with me and said I love you too first. And in my opinion she definitely had an emotional ppull toward me in every stage of our relationship. Im just not sure how I handle this.I think she may have watched too many chic flicks or something and hasn't had a real perception of reality. I really love this woman and would hate to lose her over something that's normal, if that's the case.So I guess my questions are, is it common for a woman to correlate sparks for love? Is the spark true love or just lust? And how can I help her realize that her perception of love is not reality, if it isn't? Thanks so much for any responces. I really don't want to lose this woman, but don't want to drag her through this if it is normal.Also, I am a pretty decent guy. I would never cheat on her and truely respect her. She is my girl, and I always do the right thing and take care of her.Thanks!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 It seems to me that you both have rushed in to this relationship. You moved in together after three months that can be a bit too quick and now you are settling in to a rut. My mum always used to say 'fools rush in' and there's a lot of truth in that. She could feel trapped and may be feeling like she is missing out on the life that girls have at her age before they settle down. Do you have a social life, is she allowed to see her friends. Being young is all about this before the settling down period, kids etc. You could try taking her out and having fun, remind her of what she first fell in love with and recapture her heart. Good Luck
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