A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I had been together for 3 years, it has been the best 3 years of my life, we have conquered every kind of task possible. we even had to do the long distance thing for about year because she went to school elsewhere. we had fought a decent amount like any other couple and i admit i wasnt the best boyfriend at times, not being there when she needed me the most, we were deeply in love, she would always tell me im her everything and that she wants no one else but me. she was kind of a loner and i had my group of friends. so fast forward...she is now in school here...she met some guy in her commerce class, he said "hey you should come party with me and my friends". she told me about him and i said thats great! you are finally meeting new people and getting yourself out there, i trusted her. little did i know this would turn my world upside down. in that group of friends she met this guy named "cal" she felt connected to him when she talked to him, she was attracted to him...she cheated on me with him at the bar that night.its comical because that night my dad was rushed to the emerge, i had told her what happened and she wanted to be there for me, but i said she should go hang with her friends, to her; she thought i was pushing her away even though i was trying to be a good boyfriend and i didnt want to ruin her night. before i knew any of this was happening she had already gone on a date with him and kissed him another time. she told me about her confused feelings for me and cal, she said she needed space. she broke up with me a couple days later because she said that im not good for her anymore and that she has so much guilt for cheating on me, but she said will always love me and maybe in time we can get back together...maybe. im devastated, i feel like she is leaving me for this guy but she keeps assuring me shes not, that she just wants to get to know him because he is intriguing. she is going out with him this friday to see what his intentions are with her. i want to be with her so bad it hurts, i cant eat, sleep or focus on anything. im trying to give her space that maybe she will choose me but i feel if i disconnect myself im going to lose her for good. im fighting for her attention, while this guy barely texts her. she has been texting me a lot because she said im the only one talking to her, its painful.this matter is more complicated so i summarized it.what do i do? do i stop talking to her all together and move on? or is this battle worth fighting? if cal doesnt work out am i just a last resort? this has all happened in the span of 2 weeks, she broke up with me on sunday and is going on a date with him this friday. i dont know how to move on or if i should. it either goes down two ways, she dqtes him or not and i cant be in her life as her friend. why would she jump into a relationship so fast?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2012): DUDE!!Honestly? So she's not breaking up with you but she likes him, has already gone on dates with him and is going out again to "see what his intentions are"?RUN RUN RUN!She's not your chick anymore dude. Can you imagine doing the same thing to her.."Oh I'm only going out with a girl I already kissed just to see if we can have sex...oh I mean what her intentions are"What do you think a man's intentions are? She knows he likes her and she likes him and they are going out and she's broken up with you. GAME OVERYes it sucks and it sucks bad and it will hurt and sting, but the most important thing is your pride as a MAN because that is all you have left after your heart is being trampled over. BE a man, don't write, don't call, don't text, remove her from facebook get out of her life, be the man you're not being right now, it's hard but it's got to be done.If a lady won't commit to you why be with her? Join a dating site and go wild and have fun!Good luck
A
male
reader, lost cartographer  +, writes (25 October 2012):
Don't panic. Start breathing and eat something. Now that is out of the way I have some good news and some very bad news. Good news is that this has happened to most guys at some stage of their life so you can use all of our experience to make the right choices.Bad news is the next 3-12 months is going to be difficult.Firstly you have no idea what they have done together so trying to work that out and get the truth out of her will be impossible. Even if you get the truth, part of you will never believe that that is all. Secondly once trust is gone it is gone. In my experience it just doesnt come back totally.So as much as you are trying to justify what a job you did pushing her away, you didnt. this was her, it wasnt the other guy and it definitely wasnt you. So having said all that I say again, dont panic. You should stop talking to her completely. Ignore her totally. Be man enough to make this last. Make her realise that there are consequences to her actions and that is she has lost you. Her happiness is no longer your priority.I was in the exact same position and I wish someone had told me this. The best thing that you can do is move on. I tried to fight against it and I did get my ex back. Was the worst thing I have ever done. I regret that every day.I saw the ex the other day when I was walking down the street with the girl who I love and her face was priceless. I dont want her to be in pain but there is nothing better than living well and achieving your goals that makes you happy you got rid of a cheating girlfriend. I am sure that this applies to cheating boyfriends too. please take this advice mate.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 October 2012):
 You said it yourself you cannot be in her life as a friend. Believe me if you keep in contact with her now then that is exactly what you are doing, being a friend, I know you think if you keep up the contact now and fight for her then you might win her back, but believe me it does not work like that, and in actual fact you are probably just pushing yourself more and more in to the friend zone. I think you need to be honest with her, tell her you cannot be her friend as you want more than that and that you are going to give her space to make up her mind, and then stop ALL contact. I know this will be difficult believe me I do but it is for the best. Give her a chance to miss you, give her a chance to see exactly what she has lost and then hey who knows she might come back.
Off course you need to be prepared for the fact that she might not come back either. But the no contact will help you move on in time. Time is a great healer. At the moment I feel she never experience having close friends and she relied a lot on you. Now that she knows she doesn't need to rely on you she has became more confident and wants to explore herself more. Yes it is difficult on you but she has showing by cheating on you that she thinks more of herself than she does you. Good luck.
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