A
male
age
41-50,
*dviceSearcher
writes:Hello,I'm 31, I've been renting a room in a house share (7 rooms in total, 3 on the ground floor where I am) for over 9 years. Last September a new girl moved in to the room next to me, she's now 21. Her (female) first cousin (also 21) moved in with her about a month later. They are both students at the same uni. I have an online business which I operate from my room, as well as having some other sources of income (I'm also a landlord oddly enough).I got along really well with this girl and we've been having a relationship since December. I get along well with her cousin too, but I don't like her cousin in that way.She's keeping the relationship secret from her cousin, altho I actually think her cousin already knows something is going on. It's happened on more than one occasion that she's been in my room (if you see what I mean) and she 'had to leave' because her cousin texted or called her asking where she was.To complicate things, they want to move out, partly because they don't get along with the other guy living on the ground floor (altho I do). Now I've thought about moving out for a long time (well before they moved in), for a change mainly as I've been living in the same place for too long.And guess what, all three of us have discussed renting a flat together. But, she's mentioned that in the new flat she'd consider carrying on sharing a room with her cousin (to save money), whereas I assumed one of her priorities would be to get her own room.Now presumably I'm right to be concerned here. I know we haven't gone out that long, but we do like each other and get along well. Would her cousin react badly if she knew about us? Perhaps because of the age gap?I feel I'm going to have to talk to her about it, especially if she wants us to all move in (which she was quite keen on). I think her cousin almost has a right to know about what's going on before any moving in.Any advice much appreciated!
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cousin, money, moved in, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, AdviceSearcher +, writes (20 March 2011):
AdviceSearcher is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks for the replies.Thought I'd update to say I decided to ask her about the secrecy (by text, I offered to talk to her in person but she preferred text) and she replied saying she was "gathering her thoughts". That was earlier today, nothing since then. I feel a bit better for letting her know, hoping for a positive outcome from this.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 I totally agree that moving in with them would be something you'll regret. I too think they are more than just roomates. You can still see your friend but I think you should sit back and just assess the situation for awhile.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): Is the other girl really her cousin? Sounds more like a lover with demands!!
IMHO I wouldnt move into an apartment with them, you would be the spare wheel - they would be using you to get what they wanted.
Stay where you are and let them find their own apartment.
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