A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my girlfriend and I dated for a couple months and then I had to go out of town for a job for 2 months. Right after I left, she got the job of her dreams and was extremely over the moon to have found success and "the guy of her dreams." (Her words, I'm not a narcissist. ;))Things are always hard when you're long distance, but near the end of the 2 months, she started to pull away. Never mind that she says I treat her better than she's ever been treated, etc. Whenever I'd come in on my days off to see her, something seemed odd. Then on Thanksgiving night, after 3 weeks with no sex, she snapped and started crying, saying that "she thought I was the one but there's a part of her that's unsure," having not listened to her heart before and been in a 4 year relationship where she was cheated on constantly. She also assured me, of her own volunteering, that there's not another guy. (Even though I wouldn't be surprised if there was one, in some manner.)She begged me not to leave, and that she needed time to figure it out. I gave her a week, and when I came back at the end of the week, she was still confused. "I love you but I'm not in love with you, but you're the most important person in my life and you're so amazing I can't lose you." "I don't know if I'm ready and I feel like I have a weight on my chest." Etc etc. So after that conversation, she says she needs MORE time.Now, during these breaks, she texts me pretty often, especially to get me to play iPhone Scrabble with her (lame, I know, but we love it.) She's also stopped calling completely. (Calls used to come at least every day.) Now she's always out with her friends from work at night and doesn't bother to include me in her life in that way. This has been going on 3 weeks now. I have tried to purposefully put space inbetween the texting bouts as I think it's rude NOT to respond when someone texts you, but here's the question:Whether or not she's trying to break up with me but can't, or if she's honestly trying to figure it out for herself, I really want to make it work if she can go there. Tonight, she texted me to ask if I'd like to go somewhere with her Monday. Am I just playing in to being lead on by texting back tonight and saying yes, OR should I take this as a genuine attempt at a date? And if I don't text her back and make her have to work to call me, is that a bad move? Ladies?I'm trying to give her space to figure it out, but if she's texting me all the time, how is she ever gonna figure it out? Also, if I keep responding, doesn't that just send the signal that I'm a puppy dog she can keep on a friggin leash? I want to get my balls back if so, but I can't be sure that's what's going on. Help guys! Thanks!
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female
reader, kalykush +, writes (9 December 2010):
 wow... well to be honest... as a female who has been through this and is still going through it...
your best bet to grow your balls back, is to stop txtn her. do not play ifone anything with her and do not answer her calls...
basically she has control of you and you are proving it. she txt and you respond. she asks to hang out and you go. she asks 4 space but continues to bug you.
she told you quiet frankly. she is not in love with you anymore.
walk away buddy. change your number if you must.
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