A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm beginning to have relationship issues. My gf is full time in school and works and to top it all off, seems to get sick every other week. Not that it's necessarily anyone's fault, but I'm just beginning to feel like I don't even have a gf. We are a new couple so it's not like we have a solid foundation to fall back on or anything during times when we don't have much time for each other. And I'm very low maintenance, I don't require much. So I know the scraps I'm receiving isn't just in my head. If I'm feeling like I'm not getting enough to stay happy, then I know that it must be legitimate.It doesn't help to hear all of my friends talk about the extravagant plans they have for their significant others for valentine's day, while I'm not even seeing my gf at all. She's sick and has a bunch of exams. Most I've seen her this week was about an hour on Monday, and that was bc she probably felt obligated bc it was my bday. we had a quick dinner than parted ways. Our sex life doesn't help. Last time we did anything was probably three weeks ago. Since then, nothing. I'm sure never seeing her doesn't help that, but the last time I tried anything was about two weeks ago, when we were making out and I started to do other things and she told me she was cramping and about to start her period, so she was insecure to go any further. So sex is practically non existent. And we are a new couple!! That shouldn't happen! We talked about all the ways we could still make time for each other while she was in school. She said she would come to my house and study so we could at least be in each others presence. Or I could go to hers. That hasn't happened. Not once. Or she could take her online quizzes over here or write papers on my laptop. But nothing. She always either goes to her mom's or to the library. I don't feel like she's following through with any of the things we talked about. And I'm just not happy. We should be in the honeymoon stage right now, but hell, don't you have to see each other to be in that stage???I know I should just talk to her about it but I don't want to come across as needy when I know I'm not. Advice please! I don't know how to go about all this.
View related questions:
insecure, period, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 February 2013):
 I agree with CMMP... be friends with her... she has too much on her plate right now to be able to devote enough time to a relationship...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): Well, the girl is carrying a full load. She is going to college full-time and is working a job which she is lucky to have at all in this crappy economy. As far as her period, yeah, getting that sucks big time and the pain can be awful (each person is different) and leave you feeling tired and washed up for a good week and yippee it starts all over again in a few weeks. I'm just trying to be fair here and see her situation.She does need to see a doctor about her periods and why she is getting so sick all the time. She sounds really run down.It appears she is making attempts to see you, but is not following through.You need to have a heart to heart talk with her. I know you feel neglected and I can understand that. If you can't reach some sort of schedule in seeing each other than you may have to part ways. It does sound like her life is so full that she at this point in her life does not really have the time to commit to a relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): You do not have relationship problems. You simply do not have a relationship at all.
She just isn't interested or invested so that means the relationship is non existent.
I suggest you break up with her officially since she is already behaving as if she doesn't have or want a bf so you should just make it official so that you are not putting expectations on her that don't even apply.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 February 2013):
I hate to say it, but you're right to feel like you don't have a gf, because you really don't. I don't see any relationship in anything you described, I see a couple of people who like each other and occasionally spend time together.
I'd just cut your losses and move on now before you get in any deeper.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2013): It sounds like she is getting sick because she is stressed out from the obligations of school, work, and social activities.
When you are together, would he actually be able to focus on an online quiz? Would she be able to write a paper? Do research? Study for an exam?
Have you tried to visit her when she is sick? Have you dropped by to hang out while she is doing homework? Have you made any romantic plans for this week or are you relying on her to do even more work?
...............................
|
