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anonymous
writes: I met my Girlfriend through a friend of mine a year ago. We got on like a house on, and everything was great. About eight months into the relationship I proposed and she accepted. I really thought she was the one. A couple of months after we got engaged, she started to question our engagement, like whether it would work or not. We then spoke about past relationships, something I really didn't want to, because I just wanted to look towards the future and not the past. She told me that just before she met me, she had broken up with a previous boyfriend, with whom she went out with for a couple of years. It was someone i hadn't met, but someone she had spoken about a lot as a friend, and also because he worked with her. It turned out that he was leaving work and moving away and just before he had left, she went to say goodbye, and they ended up kissing and done other things except having sex. I was heart broken, and still am. It's been a month since she told me, and she swears it's me she wants to be with, but all I can think about is that she only wants this now because he's left. The worse thing is she's still in contact with him and swears he's only a friend. I've asked her to stop contact with him, but she says she can't because he's still a very good friend to her, and she cares for him and misses him as a friend??? When I'm with her I feel great, but when we're apart, all I think about is how she really feels about me, and whether or not she wants him back. We're due to get married later this year? I just think if we're to have a chance, then she shouldn't contact him? Please advise if you can?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2005): my gf lived with her ex, and she still hung around him. i broke up with her a couple of times, because she seemed to side with her "savior" ex when i was talking bad about him. she went with him a year, and they lived together. then i came along, and we became friends, due to the fact that he was busy doing other things all the time. i eventually got her out of the bad relationship and then we went out. she refused to move out for whatever reason, saying this was the easy way, yet this was the most difficult thing i could think of. after we had broken up at one point, she was this different person, and she still said i love you over the phone, but i had a sneaky suspicion she was up to something. and i eventually got out of her and it turns out they were sleeping with each other again. we went back out a few times, and she STILL talked to him, claiming that was a mistake, and they were just the greatest friends. but i dont believe it, and because they wouldnt just leave things be, even after she moved across country, we're over for good i guess. and they are still friends. why cant people just move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2005): If your fiance is expressing doubts towards marriage, she may not be ready to commit. In order for the marriage to last you both have to whole heartedly go into this marriage and not have serious doubts as to whether it will last. To me, it seems obvious that your girlfriend is not over her ex and they are more than just friends as she proved by fooling around with him. Even if she says she's over him, you don't trust her. How can you expect to be married to this person if you can't trust her? If she continues to be in contact with him, it will always be in the back of your mind that she's still not over him. No one wants that hassle and you deserve to have someone's complete love. Trust me there are others out there.
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