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anonymous
writes: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I'm 21 and he is 23. We get along great and are basically living together at the moment - He rents an appartment in my parents house. However, about six months he seemed to loose interest in sex. This bothers me because it's not like him. For the first months of the relationship we would have sex several times a day. This gradually decreased to several times a week, but he always seemed interested and would usually initiate it. About six months ago he stopped making any attempt to have sex, and wouldn't follow on if I initiated it. We fool around but at some point he just seems to make up an excuse for not having sex, eventhough there is nothing to prevent us. I know for a fact that he searches for porn on the net almost on a daily basis. He knows I'm aware of this and would at first deny it, but now he just claims it's for no more than a few minutes a day. This used to bother me a lot more, but now it just bothers me to see the kind of 'girls' he searches for. These are not the usual big-breasted bimbos, but more like everyday girls. In fact I feel I'm more attractive than most of the girls he searches for. I make an attempt to take care of myself and always look good for him. I have talked to him on several occasions. I think sex is a very important part of a relationship, and he's aware of this. I've let him know that his behavior makes me feel unatractive and that it's not like him. At some point he admitted that it wasn't like him and said he would do something about it. Every other time, however, he just denies there's a problem and refuses to talk about it. I'm very confused because I don't know what is the cause of this. I have thought about him cheating, but the chances of that are extremely slim for several reasons. Plus, he shows in every other way that he loves me. It kind of feels like one of those 50 year old couples who love each other very much, but just don't have the same sexdrive a 20 year old would. Please help me. I want to understand this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2005): It's amazing that so many of us have this problem. I came here for advice my with boyfriend and his porn adventure but it seems like I am leaving with a distaste for the male species. I being very sexual can't imagine wanting to masturbate rather then have sex with my boyfriend. We recently had a heart to heart after 4 years of sex problems. It ended in me watching him jack off, now I sit here even more upset then before. So, I don't know the answer but I wish someone would figure it out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2005): Hi, I really don't have much advice for you beens that I am in exactly the same boat as you. Only I am married only 19 years old and I've been with my husband for over 3 years. But its like i have to beg him for sex, he has no problem taking care of himself by watching porn but when it comes to doing things with me there is nothing. The best advice i can give you is probably not the best because its exactly what i'm doing right now. Don't give him the time of day make it very apparent that you are hurt and upset and hope that he comes around and talks to you about it and things work out. It worked for me a couple times, now i am just at the point where i want to tell him we are over because he would rather masturbate than do things with me. sorry i know this is a horrible answer i think i am just using it as my way to vent because i have been upset for 3 weeks over this and i am sitting here right now with my wedding rings off ready to call it quits.
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