A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I get my girlfriend to please me more? We have been together 3 years now and sex is getting dull. She won't do anal and oral won't work because of her small mouth. Sex games don't work because they usually entail some oral stimulation. And she dont like sex toys!
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female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (16 February 2011):
Your focus is wrong. Sex is a very enjoyable activity and just like lassagna and red velvet cake, I'll never tire of eating it. If you are getting bored and wanting to be "pleased" more, you are thinking entirely too much about yourself and not your partner. Partnered sex is a peiviledge, not a right and everyone has the perogative to set boundaries. Hers is oral and anal so if her boundaries are too restrictive for your tastes, find yourself resentful that you are not being "pleasureed" adaquatly, maybe the two of you aren't compatible.
I'll never consent to anal sex and in the beginning, I refused to engage in oral sex. My husband was aware and respectfull of both boundaries and married me anyway. Over time, I became currious about oral stimulation and asked him if he'd allow me to experiment on him without any expectations on his part. I was facinated, and still am, with his penis and scrotum. I don't do blow jobs to completion and I've never myself had an orgasm via oral sex but as foreplay, there's nothing that jump starts our arousal better than oral stimulation.
Maybe if you consider oral as foreplay, she can become more comfortable and excited about it. If I felt like I was "expected" to follow through with a BJ to completion, believe me, I wouldn't have bothered and we would be a no oral couple for 20+ years. Being patient, considerate and respectfull of her boundaries will get you much further than whinning about what you don't get in your sexual relationship with your partner.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 February 2011):
 Can you perform oral on her? And why is her small mouth a problem? All you'll need is a different technique and drop trying to deep throat or suck. There's still licking however, and handjobs. Not to mention a gazillion of different positions for all types of sexual play, not only intercourse, but also different positions for oral. There's roleplay, there's different locations, the list goes on and on.
Sex doesn't get boring unless you've stopped enjoying it or fallen into some rut. If it bores you then stop doing what you are doing and try something else. Find the sexyness in each other again. Are you still sexually attracted to her? Im thinking maybe you aren't if you find the sex boring. Then try to find the spark in your relationship again.
If you only focus on the problems then problems will be all you get. You can approach your girlfriend with problems, claim she's the cause of them, and demand a solution. You got to get yourself in action on finding the solution for how to improve your sex-life. Trust me though: anal sex is NOT the solution. Toys don't help you either, because if you find sex boring then you will find anal sex boring, and you will find toys boring. Besides it's horrible to her if she doesn't enjoy these things to try and force her to do them. It'd be completely selfish and how much joy would it give you anyway?
If you find sex boring then my bet is on that being your problem, not the sex being your problem. You're bored, that's the problem. How to get yourself out of it I don't know, only you know the answer to that. But if you think sex is boring then my guess is you do not need new positions or toys or whatever... you need passion, you need attraction, excitement, and finding pleasure in giving your partner pleasure.
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