A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so , I'm 28 years old and for some reason I've never had a long relationship... one that has lasted for more then a year... I'm very outgoing and funny even.. (so I'm told) ..and ppl are quite attracted to me upon 1st meeting me EVEN THO I dont throw any vibes out there that I'm "on the prowl" ..I've also seemed to have developed a hostile demeanor over the years tho too.. which hasnt put a damper on guys wanting to get to know me more.. but what I cant figure out is why they feel I'm "not the one" ? Usually on 1st dates we run down the usual questions which almost always ends up with me saying "Yep! , I have no kids" and "Yea.. I have a mortgage" well not in those words.. and at 1st theyre all "Wow , I cant believe your single.. your like the perfect woman!" ...but when its all said and done.. I Am Not The ONE!.. can anyone give me some possible reasons why this happens.. I'm afraid I've been alone for so long already ,I wont know any other way to be and its scary cuz I want to pass the phases and reach having a family and grandchildren one day.. :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI suppose u both are right.. its kinda hard to spend time with family n friends cuz they have all started their lives n as far as making new friends ...They always seem to be way younger then me n I always feel old around them cuz I dont put myself out there like younger ppl do these days.. its just hard..
A
female
reader, Red House  +, writes (16 February 2011):
Well, before I answer to you, let me say that I could have writen this question, as Im around ur age and have found myself asking the same question a couple of times.
The only thing that pops to my mind is that you (and me) are saying too much, too soon. It may be only that they are not the one for you too, and that your MR Right is around the corner waiting to meet you.
Ok, I know that you probably already know all this but Im afraid that no one will be able to give you a precise answer to why you didn't found your match yet.
Take care of yourself and you shall find it. Best of luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): I am 32 and have yet to meet the one and be the one for someone, so all is not lost, you just haven't met the right person yet. The longest relationship I have been in was 1 year - that was with my first boyfriend at 19 years old. Since then I have only had two relationships of 7 months long each, so have been single more than I have been in a relationship. Thing is I am secure about myself and confident too, like yourself, however I don't wonder what is wrong with me, I just know I have yet to meet the right guy.
It's good to get in a place of contentment, when you are happy being yourself and being by yourself than nothing else matters. Sure, from time to time you will crave that intimacy and closeness that you would have with a partner. But don't make the mistake of ending up with someone just because you miss the intimacy etc and end up being with the wrong person who would take advantage of you, it's not worth it. Perhaps to some guys you exude a manner of self sufficiency and independency which for some guys is a turn off, as some guys like to feel wanted and to be relied upon. Perhaps they feel that they are not needed in your life and you may be putting up a barrier? I am not saying to pretend to be something you are not, but perhaps reflect on your reasons for wanting to be with a man, is it to 'complete' your life as you have everything else...a house etc? A man won't complete you, just as anything else material can't. Age is not really an issue right now as a woman up unto they are 40 or beyond can have children. Don't be desperate to be with someone, be secure for who you are not what you are if that makes sense, someone right will cross your path some day - all in good timing. For now concentrate on loving YOU and spending good times with friends and enjoying life and singleness - it's not a disease - more people should embrace singleness!!!
...............................
|
