A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 7 months cheated on me one week after losing our virginity to each other. We were at a party and I hardly got to speak to her because she was with her girl friends, however I said goodbye to her then went home with my own friends. She later went back to this guy's house with a couple of her friends and she ended up cheating on me with another guy. She told me she cheated on me on the Monday morning and I finished with her instantly.After a month apart we got back together saying nothing bad was going to happen ever again and that she had promised to change. However she was going on holiday to Gran Canaria with 10 of her friends for 2 weeks in a couple of months... I said to her whilst she was away she should enjoy herself but behave. Whilst she was away she sent me emails saying how much she loved me and missed me which made me think she would never do it again. She came back from her holiday and when I asked her if anything happened she said no.About 2 weeks later, my best friend found out that she had apparently cheated on me whilst she was away and so I phoned her. She said she did once. I finished it once more. Next day I met her and we spoke and she told me she cheated on me twice when she was away. Foolishly I forgave her and we got back together once again. However I never trusted her so much.We had been together for a year in total and everything was going well. However one night I was out with my friends when one of them told me that she had met another guy for a couple of drinks. I acted rashly and finished the relationship again because I was fed up with it. However this rumour was not true as the guy wanted to meet her but she said no to him but failed to mention she had a boyfriend.We were apart for another 2 months and during that time she has been seen kissing many other guys which is fair enough however she told me that she wants me back throughout this time. Now for the past few weeks we have been meeting up and becoming close again despite this she continues flirting openly with guys in front of me when I am out with my friends having a beer. However all my mates and my big brother say that I should steer clear of her as I am too good for her. I do not want to disappoint them however I love her as well. She wants to get back together and has said she has changed a lot... but I don't know if I should believe her because she said she had changed after the first time she cheated on me? Should I take her back? Or should I try and move on?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Hi,
sorry mate, but at your age and her age, it is unlikely she will change her habits anytime soon. She is just one of these girls with self esteem issues. Once you guys lost your virginity to each other, sex was something she could offer to help boost her low sense of self worth. And there are plenty of guys out there who will take her up on her offer. Maybe in 5 or 10 years she may be confident enough in herself to commit to one man, but not now. Save yourself the heartbreak, let this one go.
A
female
reader, joannaleigh  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Honey, with all this drama, you could start your own theater company. Forget your friends, forget your family, and don't worry about what she wants. What is in YOUR heart??????
Hopefully it's finding some other girl who will truly respect and cherish what you have to offer. And when you do, remember that the sins of the first girl should not be visited upon the next--meaning, just because the first girl cheated, doesn't mean the next one will, so don't be overly suspicious or too hard on her :)
Good luck,
joannaleigh
www.whatwouldjoannado.com
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 You got cheated on so many times now by the same girl. If you get back with her, then you have no self respect and that my friend, makes you less of a man than a eunuch
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Sorry but this one's a no-brainer. The relationship doesn't sound good for you at all. If you stay with her you're gonna spend half your time worrying about what she's doing. She says she's changed & she might mean it when she says it. But when it comes down to it & she's drinking she's still gonna cheat on you.
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