A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If you were having general conversation, and your boyfriend or girlfriend admitted that they'd consider dating some of their ex's again, hypothetically, if you two broke up, would that alarm you or bother you?My gf admitted that if we broke up and the timing was right, she would re-date some of her ex's. Thing is, she's still friends with some of them. It made me insecure and I don't know if that's reasonable or if I'm completely over-reacting. But to me, if I'm over someone, I would never go back. Once we break up, that's it. The only time I'd consider going back would be if I wasn't ever over them in the first place.
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broke up, her ex, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dezy +, writes (12 February 2013):
well hun, if you trust her and love her, dont let this scare you. and most girls will turn to an ex even if they dont have feelings for them anymore, its just them wanting to know that others love them. so dont think she has feelings for an ex just yet. it really depends on the person. and if you do break up, there are always other girls out there :) i hope the best for you.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (12 February 2013):
She probably should have kept her mouth shut, but nothing she said indicates she's done anything wrong; in fact it may indicate that she's a "good breaker upper" which is a good thing.
If you trusted her before this shouldn't change that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2013): It depends if you asked her directly whether she would consider it, or of she was the one who brought it up. If you asked her then she was put on the spot and there is nothing to suggest she has thought about it before and wishes it would happen. She may just mean that because they are still on good terms then it would be a possibility if there was a change of circumstances. For example my first boyfriend and I split up when we were 18 as we were going to different universities. We parted as friends, so hypothetically speaking if I met him at some point down the line, if we were both single and the sparks were still there I would be open to the possibility of starting something again. That is not to say I am hoping it will happen or I am pining for him or anything, I just don't have any objections to it.However, if she randomly mentioned this on her own then it is on her mind and I would be worried about it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 February 2013):
 If'n a girl said to me that she would "go back with" her ex- if she and I had a break-up..... I would say:
"Sugar-lips, I guess you're telling me that I am your second-choice, fallback boy ... and that you really aren't done with that old boyfriend, after all.... and I am just holding his place.... keeping warm a spot in your bed. Therefore... let's go our separate ways... YOU back to your REAL "boyfriend-in-the-first-place"... and me to a REAL "girlfriend" who thinks that I am the cat's pajamas..."
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left  +, writes (12 February 2013):
 Yeah your definitely not overreacting because the option of ex shouldn't be crossing her mind if she's happy with you. It may be just her feflecting but you should definitely talk to her about how you feel about
it. And find out where her heads at.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (12 February 2013):
 I think if she answered that in response to a question like "who would you date after me?" then it's good that's she's honest and direct with you and has nothing to hide. if she made that comment out of the blue, then she should have kept something like that to herself, but still the fact that she tells you truthfully is a positive thing.
Personally, I agree with ex's should stay in the past but obviously everyone is different. I get the impression she's a believer in second chances which is a good thing as no one is perfect.
Also, she's with you not them so that says something about you? I'm sure if she liked the ex she would be with them?
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (12 February 2013):
For one, talking of ex's in a relationship is seldom a good idea. I think this is an example of why...
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A
female
reader, 30anddating +, writes (12 February 2013):
 I think when you are a lesbian it makes it ten times harder because when your with another women you do become best friends....I thinks it just means they "her ex's" just did not end on bad terms and they had to agree that they where not good for each other or she would have never moved on to you. I'm thinking she might be referring to the good times together that she may have had with them.... But they could not have been that good or they would still be together. I say just live in the moment and know YOU and the present especially if she has not done nothing wrong.... remember insecurities will kill your relationship if you let it... Goodluck
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