A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I think I have never been that lost in my life.I've been with this girl during two years. We loved each other madly.We're both young (25) but our relationship was great: mature, affectionate and sincere. It was an euphoria.But these past weeks, or perhaps these past months, i've figured out that she started losing respect for me. She saw that she could control me easily, that I was ready to do everything for her. She saw she was in control. I was no more the man. Matter of fact, she played with me. And she also withdrew sex, making me having to beg to get some. I ended up totally liquid. Felt like betrayed by my soulmate. But that wasn't over. Recently I found out that she has a crush on someone else. She said she won't do anything because "she has a boyfriend", but obviously her heart wasn't with me anymore.I decided it was ennoug and did what any decent man should do in such a situation. I left her. She looked angry, but not really sad.She said she still loves me. That the spark is gone, but that she still loves me. I know I still love her too, and somewhat I'm the one to blame for letting her take the control.I won't get back to her. Just a matter of pride.But I wish so much that she feels totally miserable without me, suffers a lot and then come back crying. I wish we could take a fresh start. I wish she could understand that I am stronger than she thinks and gets the respect back for me. Does it sound stupid? What do you think? Shall I REALLY forget her? I know it's the "smart" thing to do, but come on, you can't decide that easily to leave someone you had such a great story with.In those days of pain and loneliness, your help is unvaluable. Thanks in advance, and God bless you. I wish this to nobody, not even to my worse enemy.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 of course you're in a bad place at the moment but it gets better with time. get on with your life, see your mates as much as poss and plan fun things to look forward to. don't dwell on wanting her to be miserable without you, just let go of it, you are only causing yourself pain by continuing to think about this.
you should not be blaming yourself for 'letting her have control' a good relationship should not be like a war and its not about either one of you needing to be in control, its about giving to each other and taking care of each other, you will hopefully find the real thing in the future but for now i think you have done the right thing in letting that girl go.
of course she looked angry when you broke up with her, she probably always believed that she would have you until SHE decided to call it quits.
you should make a list of all her (and the relationships) good and bad points and you will then maybe see that the bad points outweigh the good. it is never a nice experience breaking up with someone, especially if they have been with a while and have become a major part of your life, but sometimes you have to put your doubts away, see the relationship for what it is an move on, be free to meet someone else in the future who will really love you
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): this is your side of the story, have you even thought about why she might do that? why would any woman want to be with a guy who would beg? we like to know we're in control, but not easily.. every man should know that. and i don't know why she'd turn the sex tap off, because sorry love but sex isn't just for you. there are 2 of you in the relationship. why has she lost respect for you? because your too soppy? i don't know. if you don't wanna be with her because she treats you like that then don't, but don't be a door mat and be sad about it that you're not together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): Hey, really sorry to hear this has happened to you. Sometimes it can take years before you truly get to know a person, only to find out that they are not as wonderful as they made themselves out to be originally. You did the right thing by sending her on her way. A good woman would NOT do the things that you've described her doing. If she loved you, she wouldn't have treated you like crap, end of story. You wanting her to feel miserable and come back to you is understandable, but in the end it's your pride talking. Even if she did come back and you got back together, she would probably do the same thing all over again. Ignore those destructive feelings and find someone who is worth dedicating your life to and who will reciprocate.
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