A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:gf of 1.5 yrs dumps me over txt saying she needs time to "think about what she wants". shows up 3 days later drunk on my doorstep crying admitting she F***ed some dude at her gym but it meant nothing and she wants me back. i tell her to F*** off.3 months later i really started to miss her, txted her that i saw her in my future and she shows up on my doorstep 2 hours later. we talk at my place and she said she was willing to dump all guys she was seeing to start fresh.i trusted her words and apology.Now we are back together.we are 5 months into this new relationship and the excitement is wearing off and now i'm starting to think that she might do something like this again because of how distant she is sometimes.any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2013): When we hit bad stops, we can't help but dwell on the past.. Don't let the past consume you .. That doesn't mean to say you are to ignore how you feel either .. Here an option of what maybe to do.. Play it low key .. After dinner watching the tv whatever you two do to chill .. Casually ask her if she worried about anything ? Is work ok .. Friends ? When she asks ' why' and she will ( lean in a little, keep eye contact, smile ) and say ' the last time you were like this our relationship took a swanny dive ' If she says ' no no it's not that ' then ask her why the coldness .. Your relationship can't run one way .. She has to put into it as well and make an effort . End your convo by saying ' the fact you two got a second chance is a miracle . ' but you wouldn't go through that again .. It would be over no matter how much you loved her, .. But listen and take on board what she says you can't tell her she is as you have no proof .. Hopefully it's just a ikky spell ..
A
female
reader, barcode12  +, writes (11 September 2013):
 It's hard to get rid if these negative things she has once done to you. But the moment you've accepted her back in your life, it means to say that you are able to let go of what she has previously done to you. It's good to talk things out with her regarding your relationship and your fears of history might be able to repeat itself again. Don't bottle things up and don't keep assuming until you have the answer because this will kill you. Ask her in a nice way (don't sound as though you are accusing her). If she's true perhaps you guys can reminisce the old days you had and try to make things as how it used to be.If she admits to not bring true, you know the answer what to do. Remember the phase "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". All the best!
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (11 September 2013):
 Hi, you cannot go with her appearing to be "distant", you agreed to give this relationship another chance, its best you talk to understand if there is a problem.
I can understand your concern and fears and this will not go away anytime soon, unless you can trust her, but in order for a problem relationship to work, you guys need to talk and be honest with one another.
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