A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:first of all I have been with my girlfriend nearly 5 years. I was out on saturday night and got really really drunk, I ended up kissing another girl which my girlfriend seen. this is totally out of character for me and it has been 2 days since it happened.she says she wants nothing to do with me, she can never take me back or trust me ever again.theres has been things said in the past, accusations that i have cheated and she is questioning everything now.i feel like this is the end of the world for me,she said she is not willing to give me a second chance, even though i have told her how sorry i am and how willing i am to both change and rectify everything i've done.how can i approach things and remain positive about the situation ? i need to get her back and i won't give up, could somebody give me some advice ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy friend didnt literally pull me off her lips i stopped that then he dragged me away from her n told me to sort myself out, its been over 2 weeks now, she is speaking to me now and again being very blunt in text messages and if i call her she has to go, her feelings haven't changed and she is telling me to leave her alone, she says she doesnt want me now but doesn't know what will happen in the future, if we're meant to be we're meant to be thats what she said.
should i leave her alone, if so how long for ? its killing me being apart from her i dunno what to do next.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (26 June 2007):
 It took your friend to pull you away from her, instead of yourself? Here is where your problem lies. You should of been more self-aware of your actions whether or not you were drunk..Unfortunatly these things happen to the best of us and you have learnt a valuable lesson in how to control yourself when your drinking, especially when you have a responsibilty to another person.
R
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust to clarify the girl kissed me n then my friend pulled me away from her..
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (18 June 2007):
I would give her a few more weeks, a month or two. But if she is still saying she wont take you back then you will just have to accept that have ruined it. Anyway, i want you to tell my why you kissed this other girl. Did she kiss you, or did you kiss her ?
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A
female
reader, shortybabes +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Hi. try to give her space cos she will need time to think things through and just be sensitive towards her, also let her know that you understand how much you've hurt her.All you can do realy is give her sometime babe. Take this advice into consideration as it might get you a second chance. Good luck! let mo know if i've helped.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI gave her space, hadn't called her for a few days cos i knew it was the right thing to do, last night i recieved a phone call from her crying her eyes out.I couldn't bare to hear her that way so i went to her house, happened so she had been out n was quite drunk, anyway i stayed the night n we shared a bed together, she let me cuddle into her etc.. woke up in the morning n we talked for a few hours, I told her how I wanted to put everything right, how willing i was to change how sorry i am for hurting her etc.. she told me she did not want to be together now but doesn't know what she wants in the future, we talked for a long time, me doing most of the talking, explaining how willing i was to make up for my mistake. she said she needs to be alone and needs time
I told her I would never give up on her n im not going to give up hope, she is the one for me n we're meant to be together we both know that.
can anyone offer any advice on what else i could do or how i can approach her, so we can try and get on and speak cos i am really worried if i don't speak to her or see her, she'll drift away n i cannot live without her.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (13 June 2007):
Now you have said your piece and she was willing to listen, all you can do now is wait. The is nothing more horrible than waiting in this kind of situation, ive been there and it is so painful not knowing, but be patient; that is the best move you can make.
R
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsince this has happened I have written her a card telling her how I feel, I have sent her flowers too, she came round on monday night to get her key and i poured my hear out to her, she was not willing to listen at first and said she would never take me back, i talked for about 45 mins and i then tried to take her hand and hold her, she then began to cry and it upset me even more.i asked her to think about everything i have said and she said she would. i don't know what else i can do in the mean time ?any body got any advice?
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (11 June 2007):
You risked all that you had for one drunken kiss?
You are now learning the lesson from what you done, maybe slightly harshly but I think you need to think what led you to kiss this girl so easily.
If your in a relationship especially one that has lasted for 5 years that is a sign of commitment, where did that go?
Trust has to be earned and you have thrown that away on a meaningless kiss..I dont blame her for not trusting you now especially if she saw it and you were aware that she ws there with you.
The best thing you can do is give her space to think about things, and give yourself time to really think why you kissed that girl. was it just the drink or is there something more to it?
Use the time to re-evaluate yourself and the situation and take a day at a time. If your girlfriedn decides to let you in again make sure you show her that she is the one and do everything in your power to prove it to her.
R
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 Trust is really hard to get back once it's lost. You may not be able to get your gf back; you really won't be able to get her back overnight. It's going to have to be a long-term campaign.
Explain to her that it was the alcohol, and that you don't plan to drink like that again. Ask her what you can do to regain her trust. If she gives you anything, do that very deliberately. If she says "nothing" then you need to let her know you plan to try anyway. Then just be on your very best behavior, and do all the nice little things that made her like you in the first place.
It won't be easy, and if you're not up for it, then you should just move on.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (11 June 2007):
 Ok i would suggest back off a little as it's still very fresh in her mind, you could try writing her a letter telling her exactly how sorry you are and how you feel about her and then give her space she is obviously still very angry at the moment and may have lots of friends around her giving her advice us women have a tendancy to turn into man haters when something like this happens, but on the other hand everyone is entitled to make a mistake and seen as it was only a kiss i don't think it's that major.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (11 June 2007):
If i was you i would give her some space, but your right...dont give up after 5 years if you still really love her. Perhaps if you keep telling her your sorry she will calm down a bit. Maybe you could arrange to meet her when shes ready and show her your relationship is still worth it. You need to prove you wont do it again though. Also, who kissed who first, if she just kissed you then its not so bad. But if you did all the chaseing with this other girl i can understand why your girlfriend is so upset. Only try to get back with her if your 100% sure you will NEVER do it again.
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