A
male
age
30-35,
*pencer
writes:Ok so theres this girl i like. She likes me too and has told me many times. We know we like each other. We have hooked up several times and we will give each other a kiss when we see each other or are saying bye. I really really really like her but it seems like she doesnt like me as much. Since school started she isnt acting as close as we have. I asked her about it and she said that she does like me but she is busy and overwhelmed and doesnt know what she wants. Since school started she is aslo acting sort of standoffish, but when we text everything is fine. We have admitted to not wanting a relationship but i really want to spend more time with her and get closer with her without making it like a relationship where we would hang out everyday. What i am really trying to ask is what should i do to take things further?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): The thing you have to keep in mind is chicks usually want what they can't have or what they think they can't have.
So don't hound her, pressure her, get jealous, clingy or needy. Just take it in stride, give her space. Even if that feels impossible. Because if she really likes you, all it takes is her thinking you've lost interest in her. Now if you dropped off the face of her planet for two or three days with no contact, no goodbyes, no news when you get back & then don't give her any more attention than anyone else at school or anywhere. Don't be rude, but don't be emotionless, be light hearted, casual & keep it brief. And keep a few options open other than her. If she's got real feelings for you then when you don't seem to be longing for her anymore, giving her space, acting casual, she'll do something. I promise. Good luck.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 August 2010):
 So, to clarify, You've expressed that you like her and want to hang out with her, but don't want a relationship. She has expressed that she likes you but has a lot going on right now and therefore doesn't know what she wants.
Guess what, she knows what she wants. She does. It is likely one of two things. She either wants a proper relationship (not the FWB thing you're proposing), or she doesn't really want to be with you and is trying to let you down easily.
If you want to take it further you need to ask her out. Tell her that you have thought about it and you really like her and want her to be your girlfriend. You have to mean it though.
Honestly, I'd suggest backing off. Give her some space and see if she comes to you. The problem here is that she could very well find someone else and then you'll be completely out of the picture. But to me, it sounds like she's not into you the way you're into her. She may have been at one time, but that ship sailed and that's why she's standoffish with you now. She wanted something and you didn't deliver. Now she resents your advances because she sees them as going nowhere. You're just a player who wants to use her for sex in her eyes.
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