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anonymous
writes: I'm in a long distance relationship I'm 18 and she turns 18 next month. I live in London and she lives near Bournemouth. I'm a bit suspicious at the moment cos she went to a party got drunk and then apparaently kissed someone but she cant remember doing it. If she cant remember doing that I'm getting worked up over what else she cant remember doing but might have done. She doesnt want to talk to me for very long these days and when i phone her she is coming up with ecuses like she is tired or she is driving. What should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): JUST GET YOUR ARSE DOWN THERE IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER AND GO SEE AND TALK TO HER!! ITS THE ONLY WAY
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (22 January 2005):
 Hi there,Long distance relationships are really tricky. Unless the relationship is rock-solid to beging with, and has a bit of history, it's tough to stay together. Because you don't see each other so often, it's much harder to "connect" and to keep up. The tendency is to drift apart.I'm sorry to say that it sounds like this is what's happening with your g/f and you.All her excuses and being "busy" when you ring, and particularly letting drop the - accidental? - bombshell about kissing someone at a party... these aren't things that people do without being aware of it. She is apparently hoping that you'll take a large hint that she wants to explore her options in Bournemouth by being difficult and cool to you.I suggest that you ring her up again - for preference on a landline number, so she can't be driving, or at a party or whatever - and tell her that you really want to talk about where your relationship is headed... or not. Then ask her outright if she wants to keep working on being a long-distance couple. It could be hard to hear the truth if she answers "no", but at least you'll know exactly where you stand and won't have to guess any more.And if she says she does want to try to work it out, then you might suggest that you have a set time of the week when you can both catch up. You may also want to try to fix a day that one or other other of you can visit in person.Hope this helps.
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