A
female
age
36-40,
*ips1111
writes:Im married but almost a year into the marriage i found some naked photos on my husband's email. he had sent the photos to his email from his phone. They were of an ex girlfriend of his who he had only been on 3 dates with. When i found them i asked him to explain it and he said that she had been messaging him these photos saying he should divorce me. He said he told her to leave him alone and sent himself the photos in case she tried to blame anything on him because it was her that contacted him. I was really angry, confused and hurt because id sent him pics like this of myself before we got married but i stayed with him. Before this nothing was wrong with our relationship.This was almost a year ago and i still am not over it because i can just remember the photos even now and its broken my trust in him. Does anyone have any advice how i can move on and whether i should have believed him. Thanks xx
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divorce, ex girlfriend, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 Well you have let the ex-girlfriend do exactly what she planned to do. She wanted him to divorce you, and YOU are doing it for her by holding on the past and anger. Bet you didn’t see that coming. Hate, Jealousy, and pride do not at any time belong in a relationship. What she did hurt your pride as a woman. She stepped in your territory and you hate her for it. You became Jealous, which lead to insecurities, and doubt.A person who is confident on the inside, shows it on the outside. The ex feels she is confident enough to replace you, and your lack of confidence in who you are is letting her win. It is said “Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness.” That foolishness comes from both you and your husband. Ask him how he would feel if he had found naked pictures of your ex on the computer?I have never heard of anger solving any problem…It makes it worse. No couple has ever broken up because they were too happy and couldn’t handle it. Talk…and talk, no anger…just talk. “A gentle answer quiets anger, but a harsh one stirs it up.”“Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.”
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 Hi.this happened a year ago, you need to either let it go and work on the marriage or walk away. Its not healthy and not fair on either one of you. Secondly if you did not believe him, you should have contacted the ex and got her version. What you need to answer is: Can you walk away from this marriage or you love him and want to try, if its the latter then give him a fair chance, but does not mean let your guard down.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 I have to agree with llifton.
Why not show you the texts/pictures? Instead he SAVED to photos to his e-mail? why so he could "check out" the "evidence"? Or so that you would find them on his phone?
Yea, not giving me a "vibe" of this being true.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 February 2014):
 It seems to me that if he really wanted hard evidence that he was the innocent party and she was the one pursuing him, than he would have just immediately shown you the conversation and let you see for yourself. That's what I would have done.
If I had an ex pursuing me (or anyone), I'd instantly go to my partner and show them the conversation and then remove that person from my life. End of story. The fact that he kept it from you and sent the pics to his email indicate, to me, that he was hiding it from YOU in case you got a hold of his cell phone and saw it. Basically like he was trying to delete the incriminating evidence. yet he wound up caught anyway.
Personally, I think he's full of it. That's just me.
It's hard to move on when you aren't sure exactly what happened and if your partner is/was being honest with you. We want to believe what they say because it's what our heart wants to hear. But it's not always true. Try talking to him about it again. that's the only thing I know to suggest.
But to answer your question about whether he lied - it sounds like it to me.
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