A
male
age
36-40,
*aydilla11
writes: I recently started talking to my ex-fiance we broke up 2 years ago, everything in my life was going fine till my sister calls me and tell me she wants to talk to me again and misses me and has feelings for me and all that.. I still have feelings for her so i sent her a text and we started talking and we have been on twice and kissed so i know we still like each other..Now what has me confused is she tells me she wants to make sure i am a changed person and she needs time to soak it in and it all happen so fast... that's fine i agree with that i also need time to think and take it slow, but maybe i am just over reacting but when we talk she seems distant maybe its her wall up or something but i feel like shes not as into it as I am what should i think about this situation? We have only been talking for 3 weeks
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 July 2012):
You need to communicate more with each other. It is great you are back talking again and hoping to work things out, but yes it is clear she has a wall up for whatever reasons. Have you both sat down and spoke things through, looked at what went wrong when you both broke up and see if them issues are still there. Also she wants to make sure that you are a changed person, you both need to talk about this and ask her what exactly it is she wants you to be, and can you change to be that person? You both really just need to have a long talk about what you both expect and what you both want and see if it can work.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): I went out with my wife on and off for about 8 years before we got married.
It seems to me you haven't been back together long enough to know what to think. However, her statement about you being a changed person is a red flag of sorts. Do you know what she means by that? Have you changed? I mean really changed?
Changing yourself as a person can be extremely difficult, even if you are motivated and want to change.
Is it really you that needs to change? Is she just throwing everything on you? Typically, some of both si required.
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